Angst is an ART

The failed

2006-10-02T16:49:00.000+08:00

Oh man. A2 for ART YO!! I'm so bloody proud of myself please. A1 for my COURSEWORK!!! HoobloodyRay!! 8D

Umm.. English was disappointing - B3. D: Humanities still all right la, at least got like B3? or 4. Hm. Okay. Umm.. what else? OH YEA! My maths is so cute. Hahah. From 9 to 8 to 7! Shit. Not cute. Must jump all the way to at least 3 for o's ah. If not.. urgh. Science and poa F9. Tsk. Irritating. -_-'

Anyhoos, I don't care la. Just study hard to o levels. Speaking of that.. today's study grouping was a total failure please. That rony, nas and fred backed out and zrgh. FINE. -_-

So in the end, went out with joon and john to get rachel's present. -sigh- That john. Supposed "good friend" of hers and we still don't know what to buy. TSK. So we had to go around to like a gazillion places looking at a gazillion things before settling back on our initial idea. WTH.. TT'

Went to the library after that to do something about the present. BUT eventually..

Courtesy of john's stupidity:

FAILED card [HAHAH! RAC-LEH! XD okay, but it's suppose to spell " RaCHEL" if you follow a direction we were gonna draw a line to.. direct. -_-;]

FAILED 'Happy'

FAILED 'Birthday'

[okay, i did that one. hahah.] FAILED paper crane thing

But of course, with loads more addition from us to his 4.5 IQ..

A SUCCESSFUL PRESENT!! [excluding the silly addition of his 4.5 IQ aka the silly ribbon thing] 8D10D11D12D

And..

Joon's phone now has a condom! Hahah. No, seriously, they call it a cellphone condom. Or used to anyway. o_o'

Okay, so john insisted that it was super gay to carry the red thing around and like.. wth. XD And those two.. GOODNESS. Couldn't stop arguing. >_>

Okay, nvm. Hopefully the study grouping will eventually become a successful one. Anyhoos, shirley chong is treating us literatures to fish & co tomorrow. WOOHOO~ I guess I can like her for a while. Heheh. (X

*Evanesced*

Can't be bothered

2006-10-01T14:03:00.000+08:00

I wonder if I'm slipping into some kinda self-centered mode these days. It's like I can't really be bothered about people anymore. All I actually care about is myself and deathnote, which is technically also just about myself 'cause I'm reading it for my own pleasure.

I can't be bothered about how people feel or whether they hate me or are angry with me or are upset with my behaviour and oblivion and ignorance and whatever else.

Maybe I'm just so sick of always giving to people and usually taken for granted, to the point I've sorta given up and decided not to care. Seriously, for example, when I listen to people, they don't listen to me. But usually, I'll just let it go and be nice. But right now, I'm too tired to even do that. All I wanna do now is fangirl, study, graduate, and whatever else comes later.

I told someone before that as compassionate as I can be, I can also be selfish, mean and horribly cold-hearted. You can tell me you hate me and hurl whatever lectures at me, and I'll just stare at you and walk away.

Tsk. I'm just used to it, ya know? Been through so many of such things my whole life.

-seriously very effin' tired-

*Evanesced*

only Two more to go

2006-09-30T17:11:00.000+08:00

-sigh- Only two more volumes left to read.. :(

*Evanesced*

Death Note Deathbox

2006-09-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

I want the Death Note Deathbox, I want the Death Note Deathbox, I WANT THE DEATH NOTE DEATHBOX!!!! -squats down and pouts-

Aiya. 18900 JPY is like 250+ SGD! D:

"The amazing art box features Blanc et Noir, a collection of the illustrated work of Takeshi "Ken" Obata, featuring an exclusive dust jacket design; a PVC diorama featuring figures of Light, L, and Misa; an "Objet of Death" metal skull, designed by Ken Obata; a "Pendant of Death's Eyeball," which can be set into the eye socket of the skull; 6 pieces of color art by Obata, depicting the art books cover and four other original pieces; six pieces of B&W manga art, including famous scenes from Death Note including the Death of L; and an original sticker designed by Obata. Japanese text."

WHAT THE HELL PLEASE! And the figurines look way cool [if got N, EVEN BETTER! 8D]. Argh. WHY?! So I was talking to rong yi about death note today and him being him, he knows like a gazillion stuff about anime/manga shits. He says it's selling at kino for 400+ SGD! Wtf! And that they're selling the special Raito's desk with all that cool mechanism to protect your hidden stuff for like 1000 over dollars and his special watch for 500 over dollars!! And gwen says that they sell the art book at like 100+ in kino. Tsk. Why must DN stuff be so costly?! And I want the deathnote notebook but I think I get the fake one better 'cause the original is like 100+! SHIT MAN!

Oomph. Anyway, I feel like making a trip down to kino to look at stuff. -sigh- WHEN? Cursed exams. :(

Arrhh.. I've been so obsessed with DN these days. Hahah. Don't mind me please. Oh my gawd, I so very adore Nate River aka Near aka Nia aka N~ [see, i told you i know his real name 8D] And that Mello aka Mero aka M aka Mihael Keehl! Nyaahahah. According to rong yi, Nate River is a composition of British and Portugese. Heheh. :3 And Mihael Keehl is french. And They both have 200 IQ! And L has 350 IQ! And Raito! ZOMG PLZ! Raito has 450 IQ!!! WTFBBQPWNZORXPLZ!!! O_O'

Okay. Um. Shall not bore you non-DN fanatics/readers anymore. Hahah. Oomph. Wait, before I go..

Death Note 1st Movie of part 1: 19th October 2006!!
Death Note "The Last Name" 2nd Movie of part 1: according to rong yi, somewhere in march 2007!!
Death Note Anime: 3rd Octber 2006!!

WOOHOO~ -ultimate anticipation- X3

*Evanesced*

It's me again

2006-09-29T16:16:00.000+08:00

I SUCKED AT ENGLISH AND I'M BEING HATED. D':

Argh. Maybe this is what they mean by "nothing's going right". My prelim results sucked like fuck. My teachers probably think I'm just gonna be like everyone else, without a motivation to study and that I'll just end up in some lousy poly or ite as I had brought upon myself. And it just takes one day after my birthday to have everything and everyone go against me. Even my own family. It's like getting bullied ya know? But you don't really know if you deserve it 'cause you're so traumatized by the horrors of being slammed.

I don't know if I'm just paranoid or that I really am to be blamed for a gazillion things. I really don't know. So stop it ya know? Cut me some slack. Oh fuck, what's the use. 95% of the people I know don't actually listen to or acknowledge me anyway. >:/

Okay, never mind. I'm just going through a phase, and I'm sure all these slamming will help up my endurance. So happy there won't be school for the next two days, so maybe I'll get to clear my head a lil bit.

Gawddamnit. I'm tired.

I'm not stupid, fuckeroos. And I'll prove it to you.

*Evanesced*

THANK YOU DEAREST TTN!!

2006-09-28T20:46:00.000+08:00

A HUGE THANK YOU TO TTN!!

ZOH ME GAWDLINESS!! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SWEET WITH THOSE VIDS!! ARRH.. I'LL LOOK AT THEM AGAIN NEXT TIME AND MAYBE IT'LL SINK IN BETTER. BUT STILL, IT'S MADE ME HAPPIER TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE. OR RATHER HOW MUCH I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN CARED ABOUT ALL THESE WHILE. =D

LOVE YA HUGEASSCRUISESHIPSLOADS!! HEHEH~ -HUGGLES-

*Evanesced*

breaking the silence

2006-09-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

I am officially sixteen.

Sorry, but I'm feeling kinda fucked up and pissed off right now.

Still, I'd like to thank some people first before I explode.

ttn: YOU! itinerary girl. Hahah. I'm sure the whole din tai fung and gagaku cd was your idea, so.. THANK YOU A GAZILLION MUCHNESS! -huggles-

joon: thank you so much for the meal dude! man. and thank you for the gift and thank you for everything you've done for me, for actually caring about me. YOU ROCK DUDE! heheh.

nas: thanks a bunch for the gift as well. hahah.

rony: thanks for remembering and for the gift dude! must study hard yea? heheh.

john: thank you for the gift and all the laughter. hahah.

gwen & yeejoo: OH MY GAWD! GAARA! yea, thank you so much for the gift and being the first people in school to give it to me. hahah.

one who shall not be disclosed: your gift meant the most to me so thank you so much! heheh. you know who you are eh? well, no matter how things may be now, let's just act our age and leave things aside yea. woots~

Okay, I can't take it anymore. Urgh.

Sorry if I sound like some juvenile shitfuck but inside me, I'm seriously folding my arms and squatting down and screaming WHAT ABOUT ME! What about me ya know? How come nobody asked if I was okay? Why does it always have to be about her! IT'S NOT FAIR!

ARGH. I hate you, fucker. I total fucking hate you. I wish you'd die. I wish you'd disappear. I wish you'd just STAY AWAY FROM ME. Bugger off, shitbag. I don't care how you feel anymore. I don't fucking care. And I don't care what your definition of "keeping a distance apart" is, but my definition is not talking and avoidance. At least now, it's that. We never were good friends. Remember that. All along, our friendship has been shallow and hey, you can't exactly blame me ya know. Seriously. Maybe for what's happening now, everybody can just blame me for everything but the fact that our friendship is a total fuckshit failure thing, I hope you'd take a look at yourself too.

Ya know what? You can go fucking crawl to all those people and be like all depressed about it and make it look like I'm some mean shit and that all the blame lies on me 'cause I wouldn't give in. Think about it fucker. If I were to give in, it woulda be extremely unwilling, therefore insincere. And nobody can force me to either so whatever.

Oh, and don't even think about "leaving" them for my sake 'cause that way, you're just loading me with more blame, more than I am already ladened with and I'll just hate you even more. Don't even think about apologizing. Don't even think about blaming yourself anymore 'cause it's too late okay? I am now the root of this whole problem in everybody's eyes 'cause they're too fucking shallow to understand a single fucking thing I'm fucking going through. If you ever say anything to them that you hope would make yourself look bad, it'll just make me look worse. So fucking do me a favor, whether you like it or not, STOP IT. LEAVE ME ALONE. GO AWAY. SHUT UP. STOP MESSAGING ME, PMING ME, WHATEVERING ME. From now on, I don't know you. I don't want to. I don't like you. I am extremely annoyed by your presence.

Dig?

And to all those who are bugging me to go for grad night, I'M NOT GOING. Stop disturbing me. I don't wanna go and I have my reasons. Don't bother asking me why 'cause knowing how shallow you people are, you'll just get pissed off.

Sheesh. Good thing it's just two more weeks to graduation. JOY TO THE EFFIN' WORLD.

*Evanesced*

Come NEAR me 8D

2006-09-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

Ooh ooh! I just met a super super SUPER cute character. NEAR [and i know his real name 8D]!! ARRRHHH!!!! -screams and whistles- X3X3

Oh gawd, save me. Will you just.. oh my gawd. Look at him when he's like 14 and he's sitting on the floor looking sleepy in his PJs outfit thingy while he's fixing up his jigsaw puzzle. Aiyo! SO CUTE PLEASE! -faints-

And L finally died. In volume 7. Tsk. Watari also died! WHY?! -murders remu- Okay, hahah. Right. But seriously, watari's death was sad. Never expected it. And mello is so.. evil? I dunno. He's got raito's evil eyes and stuff. And he looks like a girl. o_o' But, hey, we share the same interests/habit of binging on chocolate~ :D:D

And I've read a whole bunch of info on L and N that I realized the two combined together reminds me of.. well, me. Just that they're probably 3 times more intelligent than I am. Hahah. Shit. TT'

So anyway.. RAITO! Can you please love misamisa more seriously? Stop being with her just to use her, you asshole. Urgh. Just 'cause you're a bish doesn't mean I won't hate you one day. D<

Okay, over-reacting. -_-'

Hmm.. Deathnote actually interests me more than naruto does now. Hahah. Oomph. =X But, yea, there's a diff 'cause well, in my opinion, DN is a deeper and more mind-boggling book. Yea.

-sigh- It's very near now and I feel like something bad might happen. Or that I'm gonna die or something. This is horrible. I should stop being so paranoid. The possibility of the former is probably about 6% and the possibility of the latter is probably about 1%. Okay, chill. You're just excited. That's all. No, wait, I'm not. Argh. Why am I like that! I'm supposed to be happy! :(

Ah sheesh. SS workshops are full. Forget it. I'll just do it on my own then. :/

*Evanesced*

SI 2

2006-09-26T09:35:00.000+08:00

Oomph. I had wanted to blog about that stupid SI 2. Um. So I shall do it now. [enjoy reading, me hearties. i know my posts are forever TEH enjoyable. 8D10D11D12D]

Anyhoos, I'm starting not to like SI. Okay, wait, I never really did liked it but now, I'm just disliking it more. That finals thing was kinda screwed, seriously. And the judges, probably scared off their pants by the no life raging fans, would ALWAYS give those nice nice comments. Quite sickening la. I don't know if it's 'cause of the tv or what but Jon didn't do as well as I had expected. I mean, yea. Kinda disappointing. Then that hady, not bad la, but the first song quite shit doncha think?

And, even though I've never rooted for him, I felt that hady did deserve the title 'cause he's seriously better. Urgh. Jon, I've rooted for you from the auditions [okay, when I watch SI, I only watch the auditions and the finals and sometimes abit of the competition in between. XD]. WHY? Tsk. I've also rooted for paul [OH MY GAWD LAR. Fine, he's cute if you cover his face. and please, his hair rocks okay. D<] and MATHILDA! Aiya. Mathilda! WHY?! I so wanted her to be in the finals or something. I know she looks a little overweight but wth please. She rocks okay. Beats that stinking olinda la okay [don't like her :/]. Mathilda. Okay fine, I'm not supporting anyone in SI except mathilda now. Even though she's been like ousted but I DON'T BLOODY CARE. MATHILDA! >_<

And maybe emilee too. Hahah. But I only came to know of her existence when she sang "just like a pill" [like, LOVE :3 please. plus, she's pretty cool. especially her tired eyes. woots~ :D], but she got ousted in the next round.. URGHness. TT' Okay, another one whom I had completely no idea was actually in the top 12 until not long ago was that.. norman dude. He reminds me of EN LAI! Wth. Hahah. Okay, I kinda like en lai despite his spastic gayness. XD

And I don't like jasmine. It's not much about her not being versatile. It's more of her "ZOMG. I'm like a celine dion doll thing, which isn't cute la of course." She's NOT cute. Please. I don't know if she looks.. sweet, but either ways, she irritates me. Zrgh. And that rahima. Yuck-o. She's irritates me to the coreness can? Someone needs to shove a stinkin' shoe in her face and severe her arms. ARGH. I don't ever wanna see her perform again. If I have to, I'll turn off the tv for a while. Or at least shut my eyes. o_o'

Let's see, ah yes. That nurul. Quite cute ah but she reminds me of that gayle. Fuck. I hate singers who just HAVE to add et ceteras in between the lines of a song. Like "ah.. oohh.. -whatever-" or "-makes the whole song sound like there's only one line by dragging the last word of each line to the first of the next-" or even "sing it!". -_-'

What's his name.. urh.. joakim! Yes. I keep forgetting. Hahah. He has.. thick brows? And he's so skinny and short. o_o Okay, looks aside, his singing is all right la. Just not idol material, that's all. Ah yes, and how can I forget that jay guy. Okay, he's weird la. He looks old, stiff, and his articulation/accent/whatever is so singaporish and it's kinda disgusting ya know? Today, on the radio, there was this chinese one where this teengae girl , I presume, was speaking and OH MY GAWD. I feel like slapping her. She's all "-blah blah blah- LOR, then -blah blah blah- LOR. Hen -blah blah blah inserts english word- LOR. Like, -blah blah blah- LOR." WTF PLEASE. What have you been learning in school? Like, the whole speech thing is so off. -_-'

And yesterday, I was on perfect 10 and they had this dj star challenge thing. There were two girls. I totally liked the one and totally despised that other. The latter was um.. trying to drag her words, making them sound slow? And it sounds like.. "mmm.. yesss... screw me please..." Okay, so gross la. Urgh. Sex appeal is zilch, stop trying. TT'

Okay okay, I'm actually talking about local happenings yo! See, I'm a patriot. 8D10D11D12D

Right. -stabs-

*Evanasced*

That damn tummy

2006-09-26T09:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, didn't go to school today. Hoo, like, ray? Hahah. Although that woman was being all fucked about it like I was using my tummyache as an excuse to not go to school. Hello? If I didn't wanna go to school [okay, "plan on", since i never do wanna go to school], I wouldn't have gotten dressed and all right? It was hurting like fuckness so PLEASE, show some sympathy can. Tsk.

Forever ya know. So ironic. Like, she's always making me do things using the excuse "since you don't wanna study anyway." Like wtf, if you're too lazy to do it yourself, then just say it. Don't make up excuses or whatever. It makes me even more unwilling to do anything for you. Urgh.

But unfortunately, I can merely say "fuck you" in my mind now 'cause the last time I said that [okay, without the "you"], she nearly beat the crap outta me. I wasn't even like referring directly to her or what please. Insecurities, you see. Fucking insecurities.

Anyhoos, I did like 6 questions for co-ordinate geometry through my bloody sleepyness just now. Argh. Can't be bothered to get back to sleep anyway. I'd wake up in the afternoon and go read deathnote, always the case. TT'

Prelim results were shit, I tell you. SHIT TO THE SHITNESS OF SHITS. I failed bio, I obviously failed physics [there was only like a 2% pass in our class please], I failed maths [WTF LAR! I thought I was gonna pass D':], I might fail ss [58% pass. shit man.], I could be doing badly for art [or fail], failed poa [so bloody expected la. our highest was like.. what? 49? aiyo.] and.. I dunno. I might have been able to figure our my lit marks today[if there is any lit but I'm too shit to go check the timetable], and rant about yesterday's o level chinese oral to april.

Argh. YESTERDAY. Went to yskss ["yucks"? hahah. XD] for it and I could sense the examiner going all "wtf? um. HO kaayyee.. o_O" and I stuttered through my passage and I didn't know what.. urh.. what's that, "gou wu" was. It was actually shopping [somehow, i don't like that word] or something. So I was like "um. gou wu?" Hahah. Okay, not funny please. In addition to all that shit, I had my tummy ache. Zrgh. It's been going on for a few days now but I'm too shit to go bother going to the doctor's. Besides, I'm feeling better now so yea. ^_^

Aiya. I want to read deathnote like crazy now. But must study man. Needa have some discipline from now on, no more time to waste. :(

-crawls to a corner-

*Evanesced*

Young girls fetish

2006-09-24T17:32:00.000+08:00

I went to church today! Hippy Hoorayness! (X

Actually, I didn't really feel like blogging. Nothing worth [note: 'worth, not 'to'] blogging about. :/

So instead of being ironic, I shall um.. talk a lil bit bout my obsession with death note [yes, again. since i'm deprived of naruto at the moment.] ZOH ME GAWDLINESS. Misamisa is the cutest thing ever. Well, okay. I admit I do have a fetish for young, cute girls [although she's like 20? i don't care. she LOOKS young anyway.]. =X But not like, sexually please. I am very.. urh.. okay, I'm not a pervert. -shoots a malevolent look at giggling asses-

Anyways, raito is bish as EVER. Woohoohoo~ L looks super super cute with his -looks up with big eyes- stares and cravings for cake. Oh my gawd. Love~ :3 And I think matsuda is cute too. Heheh. I mean, his personality. The chief and aizawa irritates me, somehow. Mogi is like this shrek thing. Hahah. XD

So anyway, I'm waiting for L to die. -spoiler- He's supposed to. I wanna meet M and N! Argh. Why am I so slow even though I have dedicated so much time to staring at the screen [and reading of course].. TT'

So anyway, I'm a supporter of RaitoxMisamisa. As in falling deeply in love and not just one sided sorta thing. Woohoohoo~ Raito, you lucky ass! [okay, misamisa too!] XD

Hm hm HMMM.. Elfen lied like, rocks? Hahah. It's SO AWESOME. Ack. Nyu is so cute please [um, yea. fetish. hahah.]! X3 And the way she kills when she's in her.. killing mode? WOAH! So bloody neat yo! Like, as long as the person is in a 2m radius, she can just use her invisible hands to dismember them and all. I loved it when she went to poke that dude's eyes in. And he didn't die! Ahahah. Serves him bloody right. I don't like him la. 8D

But surprisingly, the gore factor isn't really, gory or whatever. I mean, there's like so much blood it could drown the whole of sg but still, maybe it's 'cause it's an animation or what so yea. '_' And that nyu.. ZOMG. She seems to not like wearing clothes? Nyaahahah. And ya know, the two.. urh.. yea. Keeps showing. 8D10D11D12D -nose bleeds-

Right. -_-'

HO kay, I wanna watch FLCL. Maybe I should get the manga but even though it's just two books, one book is like.. twenty bucks? Zrgh. Silly tokyopop. :(

ZOH ME GAWDLINESS. Gotta pay for my sword next week. Urgh. Cosplaying can be such a pain in the butt sometimes. TT'

They have gagaku in HMV! I WANT! >_<

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

John Tucker Must Die

2006-09-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

Fuckness. Went to school. ALL THE BLOODY WAY TO SCHOOL. To practise the cursed chinese oral for o's on monday. Shitness. And it went on for like what? 5 minutes? wtf. And it was done in the HALL. So inconvenient LAR. >:/

But anyway, at least I didn't go home like after that 'cause if I had to, I'd get even more.. pissed. Tsk. Anyway, Went out with my dearest ttn. Heheh. Love love~ :3

Couldn't decide where to go [FOREVER AND EVER PLEASE], so went to the station and was like, hmm.. You know the dhoby ghaut xchange place? Oh ya! Never go before leh. Want to go? Hahah. So we went and like, it LOOKS like it goes on forever but if you think about it, it's actually kinda short. I mean, it's like.. Some place with shops to fill up the space so I geuss you can't really expect much. Very teeny type.

So while we were just wandering around, never actually going into any shops to really look around, saw this john tucker must die poster and I was like, eh. John tucker must die. And she was like, eh. I want to watch. Wanna watch? Hahah. So we ended up watching it. Aiyo! XD

Watched it at The Cathay~ :3 Okay, I don't really see the difference 'cause a cinema is just a cinema and I don't really go into nitty-gritty things like urh.. the comfort of the seats or whatever? Hahah. But it's got this fancyness to the name so yea. Wth. 8D But seriously, that place needs filling up. It's so empty and.. boring? Urgh.

Anyhoos, it was a pretty good show. I mean, for a chick flick that is. There's this nice character study going on there and it was, well, predictable. Just that the predictability is pretty subtle. Ending was a bit shaky but overall, it's not bad la. Hahah. Not exactly recommendable but worth watching yo~ ;D

Then we walked around the outside as we always do and ended up in raffles city which is well, weird for students in uniform to be there 'cause you don't really see much of our "species" there. Hm. Anyway, walked around some more, trying to look for those takeaway sushis but to no fucking avail. Urgh. Ended up having subway. Oomph. Damn good~ Hahah. :D:D

Walked around some more, looking for jia jun's present. Then to the outside, like one big round and took a train home. Tsk tsk tsk. I'm so tired from all the walking LAR! Hahah. But it was.. fun! (X

OOH OOH! And I want them jellybeans from candy empire! Arrh.. I just realized that they have so maneh flavors. Nyaah.. Compared to the norm types you find in norm places. It's the kind you can be like pouring a whole load onto your hand and you pick out your favorites. Or like you pick out the brown m&ms 'cause they have a higher possibility of having less artificial coloring since the chocolate in m&ms are usually brown anyway. Okay, that didn't make much sense. Shit. -_-'

Dootseedoos. Jellehbeans are cool yo~ (X

I feel so good after bathing and.. fangirling over yagira yuya. Heheh. He's so cute la, OH MY GAWD. X3

-runs off to fangirl some more-

*Evanesced*

Shutter

2006-09-22T00:55:00.000+08:00

I watched shutter just now. Pretty much got scared off my pants. Hahah. Okay, yea. Urgh. Shall stay away from horror movies. TT'

But actually, it's quite sad also. That bloody rachel went to spoil it for me though. Hahah. Oh YEA!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RACHEL HOE!! (X(X

Heheh. Sorry, but no present this year. Broke la. =X

Anyhoos, I love pink. Hahah. I mean, pink as in the singer. Okay nvm. I like the color too. -_-'

It's getting close, but somehow I'm not happy

*Evanesced*

Haruhi and The Polar Express

2006-09-21T01:39:00.000+08:00

WOOTS~ Finished watching haruhi and am now a supporter of Haruhi x Kyon. :3

Time for elfen lied! Soon. Heheh.

Also watched The Polar Express. Kinda old isn't it? I dunno. But I found the brand new dvd lying around and decided to watch it so yea. It's pretty awesome actually. Not some cliche christmas shit. Although it's like patronizing the santa dude or something. Well anyway, I enjoyed it very much and I look forward to watching all the vcds fredy lent me. Woohoo~

Aye.. SO MUCH TO WATCH! I should just stay home for the rest of the week. Heheh. (X

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

The [short] Odyssey of THE SPH X820

2006-09-20T17:04:00.000+08:00

Nyaahahah~

The [short] Odyssey of THE SGH-X820

Introducing..

One day, THE SGH-X820 decided that it needs to go on a journey after it's whole family of samsungs got wiped out by a virus [whatever it is, you don't need to know. 'cause I don't either. -whatever-]. WITH ONLY ONE MESSAGE:

And off it went, to the land of I-can't-bother-thinking-of-a-stupid-name. At the land of I-can't-bother-thinking-of-a-stupid-name, it met a loving couple [who were gonna get divorced the day after] with their SUPER CUTE baby [mind you, they're both still virgins].

After exchanging greetings and getting poo-ed, pee-ed and spat on by the baby, it decided to venture further and saw..

But sadly, before it could have a taste of it [despite the fact that all it's electronic parts would go haywire but it just didn't give a fuck 'cause Swenson's earthquake is too bloody awesome to resist], everything disappeared. Looking up [through it's 2 megapixel camera hole thing], it came to a clear conclusion that someone had stolen all the ice cream and stuffed it down his throat.

It was hard to believe at first, but upon closer examination, it was NO surprise. I mean, LOOK AT THAT. SO FAT PLEASE. 8D10D11D With an empty stomach, it braved the next journey to the next destination with determination [to I-don't-care-what]. After travelling across scalding deserts and enduring skin-piercing rain, it stumbled upon konohahaha village. There, THE SPH X820 witnessed the idiocy of a ninja wannabe trying to pick fights with people. [it's blur so wth. i don't care so you shouldn't either. :D]

"Hey you there. I like you. Let's bang."

"sasuke kun! your brother is hitting on me! >_<"

"Hey you there. You look like me. Only uglier. -snorts-"

"Whot-EVAH~ You're just jealous 'cause I'm like older than you and more powerful and sakura likes me better. HAW HAW HAW! I am so beautiful, unlike you, kid-o. -snorts louder-"

Then, it chanced upon a fight between two genin girls who were having a debate on hair length [and other hair shits].

"OH EM GEE PLZ. Short hair is SO IN THE TREND right now."

"Liek, short hair sucks 'cause.. 'cause it makes you look fat."

"You're just saying that 'cause you're jealous and you SO want my pink beautiful hair."

"Oh PUH-LEASE. I have pink hair too and it's better than yours. At least I trimmed it with a pair of scissors after careful consideration from my stylist and not just on an impulse with a pathetic kunai. OH EM GEE PLZ. A kunai shall NEVER touch my beautiful hair. Yours is all right 'cause it's already so screwed already. -snorts-"

"SEZ WHO!"

"SEZ ME!"

..and the rest is history.

Realizing the amount of tension that's building up, THE SGH-X820 decided to travel to somewhere else. Somewhere safer and somewhere where it can spread it's one message..

After another difficult journey of blah-blah-blah, it stumbled upon a land called I-STILL-can't-bother-thinking-of-a-stupid-name. At I-STILL-can't-bother-thinking-of-a-stupid-name, it finally felt at ease and even at home. There, it made many urh.. interesting friends.

"HELLOOOOO! -sings- We are the sexy Sony Ericssons! Wanna bang?"

"We like it from behind babeh!"

"Umm.. Hi hi. I have 10 MB of memory and NO BLUETOOTH. And that's what makes me DISTINCTLY BOLD. Well okay, at least I can.."

"FLIP! :D"

"CHEH! I also can!"

"-snorts-"

"Geezus crust man.. Ma bruther's showin' off again yo, even though he knows ah have BLUETOOTH and he doesn't yo! And ah can also.."

"FLIP! 8D Who's yo daddeh! Okay, um. Yo daddeh is ma daddeh but anyhoos, just shut up 'cause ahm still betzer than yo. -snorts louder-"

"OH EM GEE PLZ. All of you are liek, pathetic? Flipping is SO LAST CENTURY! Let me show you what's in the trend, losers."

"SLIDING! -snorts even louder- And liek, I have 1GB of memory and a 2 megapixel cameraaaahhh!!! 8D9D10D"

[you'll have to view this horizontally 'cause i'm too lazy to get it to vertical and there's nothing you can do about it :D]

"Hn. Amatuers. NOBODY CAN BEAT ME! FOR I AM TEH N93! I can.."

"DO THIS!"

"AND THIS!"

"BETCHA CAN'T DO THIS!"

"In addition to my amazing physique, my dear owner has also upgraded me to a 1.3 GB memory and I have like, a 3.2 megapixel with Carl Zeiss lens camera! 8D"

"Oh, pai seh. My girlfriend wants to be featured too. Heheh."

"Eh hello all! Thank you N93 dear! Love love~ :3 I can shuffle! And urh.. ya, SHUFFLE! Not bad okay! And I'm slim and sleek! Plus, my mommy is Apple! You know Apple? Ya, the company that makes pretty pretty MP3 players and has recently battled with Creative, another company that makes not-so-pretty but sibeh shiok functions MP3 players! YA! And I can SHUFFLE! REALLY! V(^.^)V"

After it's long and tedious journey and STILL FEELING EXTREMELY HUNGRY, THE SGH-X820 decided to head home and face the corpse of his entire clan, wiped out by his brother whom it will one day take revenge on! [okay, nvm. It's actually the virus but effect you know? EFFECT! Must drama abit! 8D]

THE END

Credits

kyuwai :D

John Benjamin Franklin

Joon joon

Nas

Rachel

Jun Ling

Fredy

Kai Shun

Selin

Yati

Sharie

Zuaswina's UBER ADORABLE baby sister

The art room

Fredy's place's marble floor

The table underneath John's block

Swensons

Global and System 3 Paint courtesy of Mr Sam and the school

The Creators of Naruto

The table in the Cybrary

Tenchi

Bandai

Apple

Creative

Samsung

Nokia

Sony Ericsson

Panasonic

Blogger

Whoever else who have made this production possible

*Evanesced*

Cried till I couldn't breathe

2006-09-20T16:14:00.000+08:00

It's not an infatuation, so I'm not giving up. ^_^

It's not amusing or funny how I have to put up with that woman for all these years and she doesn't actually realize. Just because I am expected to obey her every command and whatever wrong she does or whatever scoldings she gives me are FOR MY OWN BLOODY GOOD. Maybe sometimes I do see the good in it, but most of the time, I don't see a point. She's just venting her anger and insecurities. When she hit me, I knew enough was enough. I mean, so what if you've had to fucking put up with me? With my indifference and everything. So what? Don't you think it's unfair that I have had to put up with all your fucking being unreasonable and blaming everyone else but yourself? And mostly, it's just my fault. Forever. Whenever I'm around, the first person you ever blame is me. Even though I have done nothing grossly wrong. So I put up with it, ya know. I know you can't admit to your mistakes and all your fucking paranoia. I've put up with everything you've thrown at me and I think it's only fair that you let me be. It's not like I'm out doing drugs or sleeping around or running away from home or smoking or stealing or doing some unlawful whatever thing. And please, I don't want anything from you. from here on, I live to prove your thoughts about me wrong. And when I've done that, every other purpose for my existence would be solely for myself and everone else but you. When I am able to support myself and I'm ready to be out of this place, I WILL. Mark my words. I WILL. Because most of the time, I'm just hating you and not getting along with you. And no matter how much people try to compromise, you can never give in. NEVER. You're selfish and full of yourself and stubborn and fucking insecure. I don't see the point in trying anymore. I can't and I don't wanna. Unless maybe a miracle may fall from the sky one day and you actually change but I doubt that and I'm not gonna take my chances anymore. Till the day you actually die, you will be miserable 'cause you can never step out of those four walls you're confined in.

And I'll never be like you. I will only be myself. I will be stronger than you are. I will let things go. I will care about others and I will be sensitive to them instead of just being sensitive myself. I will step out of things and I will break walls down. If you can't do any of these, then fine. I don't care anymore. You can go shrivel up and hope someone is merciful and kind enough to accept you. Maybe God will, but I won't. I'm not God anyway.

I don't know why but these days, feeling physical pain actually makes me feel better.

Okay, that's it. I don't wanna say anymore. It's not gonna solve anything anyway. It just makes me feel a little better. Enough to move on to other things.

*Evanesced*

Sleep Deprivation

2006-09-19T17:34:00.000+08:00

Argh. Sleep deprivation. Slept from 4 in the afternoon to 7 in the evening last night so that maybe I'd feel better to do up my prelim. But I only started at ten and did till 5. Then woke up at 9 and well, rushed the work and rushed to school. Fuck. Was still late. Very awkward being late for exams ya know. It's not like you arrive fashionably late. But you like rush in and the whole place is silent and everybody stares at you and you're like wtf. -_-'

Today was a super bad day. But okay, at least I wasn't burdened with a bad hair day so thank goodness. -counts blessing- So as I said, I was late, my work was incomplete [NO LAYOUTS PLEASE! NO LAYOUTS!! O_O'], and yea. Plus plus PLUS, I forgot to leave my phone outside. Not only that, I didn't silent it! WTF! WORSE OF FUCKING ALL, someone messaged me [okay, luckily that ass didn't call else miyavi's freedom fighters would be resounding throughout the whole fucking hall. -counts blessing-]. So yea, there was this beeping sound thing and wtf please. I got so freaked out. It's like you're in the middle of a very important conference and you.. fart? Okay. I dunno. It was just.. BAD. HORRIBLE. URGH.

Okay wth. I'm telling you, last minute work for art prep work is a total no no. It's horrible. Like rushing all five pieces of A3 sized drawing blocks in one fucking day. Urgh. It was expecially bad last night 'cause I was still sickish and my juices were drying up and I was having this artist's block and ARGH. Terrible. I think I'm gonna fail. TT'

ARGH. Never mind about what's already done. ONE LAST PAPER TOMORROW!!! Hooray~ Then no school on thursday and friday. Long weekend yo! Heheh. 8D9D10D11D12D

I wonder if I should take a nap or simply sleep early tonight. Hm.

*Evanesced*

Staying straight?

2006-09-18T20:39:00.000+08:00

I turned straight to save a friendship I truly cherish, and I don't want to have to do it again. I don't have feelings for you. I seriously don't. I'm sorry if this might hurt you but seriously, I will not get myself into it again. Not even for you. I may still be bi but I'd like to refrain from such things because it's been a long and painful experience I nearly couldn't take.

Well, that's done. I hope.

I have to rush my art prelims from prelim tomorrow. This sucks. Had this three hour nap just now 'cause I had my flu thing again and it was bad. Argh. My bloody immune system. The miso soup had me feeling better for a second or two I guess. Hahah.

Practical today was pretty sucky. I just suck at physics. Gotta be serious and start studying for it. Science is VERY IMPORTANT. Urgh.

On the brighter side: I might pass my emaths this time round. ^_^

Shit. Should've gone to church on sunday.

Oh well, better be off now.

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

Oh how it hurts

2006-09-17T00:21:00.000+08:00

I don't think you know how much it pains me, but I hope you never do.

I guess it's good that I'm the sort who can handle such things without entertaining notions of suicide. Or feeling so depressed I'd start skipping school and running away from home and be super emo for days at end in front of people.

And maybe it's also good that I already.. sorta prepared myself for it and I guess it turned out better than I expected. I think. I don't know.

Well. I don't know what else to say. Yes, I'm super upset about it but I'm.. cool with it at the same time.

-sigh-

*Evanesced*

Moisturized

2006-09-15T22:15:00.000+08:00

Whee~ I finally got my moisturizer. Been living for days without it. Man, I get upset when I see my skin all dry. Hahah. o_o'

I think that wartner thingy is uber cool. Hahah. You have this foam applicator and then you push it into this aerosol can thing and there's this fizzle sound and icy smoke starts coming out and you apply it and it's got more fizzly sounds and warts are so cute and I forgot how to use punctuations and -smacks-

I wanna catch a movie. It's been so long. D:

*Evanesced*

The Lead Singer

2006-09-15T19:02:00.000+08:00

Tom Chaplin is an alcohol and drug addict. Poor dude. D:

I am so bloody loving under the iron sea. Keane is forever and ever TEH AWESOME of TEH AWESOMEST! Plus, hopes and fears is on it's way. woots~ X3

Anyways, I love being in the art room alone. And doing my work of course. I HAVE FINISHED! OFFICIALLY FINISHED! Previously, Mr sam didn't approve of my blurry pictures so we got new ones and it's been pasted down. Then, he wanted me to stick the acrylic pieces on the box, and now, THAT'S DONE AS WELL! Special thanks to szeying. Heheh. THANK YOU SO MUCH YO! =D

Okay, but I haven't put my mounting boards in a new plastic.. storing carrier thing and tape it nicely and put it into the store. So, shit. Not done yet. Urgh. -stabs-

Chinese was.. pretty scary today. I dunno. I only had like.. one hour plus to study two books yesterday. Which I did but at the end of the paper, it seems there wasn't actually a need to do so. But nonetheless, gotta help me sleep better at night so yea. Heheh. TT'

I like taking chinese papers 'cause we're always released early and usually daryl and I would go exploring the school. Hahah. FUN-o~

So, practicals, art and mcq for science left. Man. I seriously need to go touch my art prelim sketches. It's still stuck at that half sketched no toning zipper. Zrgh.

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

quizness eleven

2006-09-14T17:14:00.000+08:00

I just felt like doing one. TT'

NOW

Is your hair up?: up where?

Is your phone right beside you?: right in my pocket. dude, i'm lazy to even take it out.

Do you have a bf/ gf?: bf as in like.. buffalo fetish and gf as in like.. giraffe fetish?

Do you wish you were somewhere else?: not really

Do you have plans for tonight?: study for the bloody mother tongue paper tomorrow. oh, and sketch something before mr sam goes spare.

Are you wearing makeup?: ..whatever for.

Are you wearing chapstick?: don't need it. hahah. right.

Are you cold?: not really. i wish it's colder.

Are you tired?: sleepy

Are you excited?: no. i don't like to study. wait, who the hell does? sick.

Are you watching t.v.?: don't do that much these days

Are you wearing pajamas?: don't do pyjamas

Who's the last person you IMed?: nobody?

Who's the last person that called you? don't care

PAST

Anything you regret? don't care

Ever lied?: duh

Ever stuck gum under a desk?: maybe. heheh.

Ever spit at someone? not me. my brother. hahah.

Ever kick something living?: ah yes of course. JOHN BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.

Ever had your nails done?: how do you do nails? hahah. -whatever-

Ever thrown up because you cried so hard?: don't think so

LAST WEEK

Had any plans last week?: who cares. they seldom work out anyway.

Who did you see most last week?: john benjamin franklin, selin dear and.. school people. urgsh.

Was last week interesting? school is seldom interesting. yes, i had to go back everyday. fuck.

TODAY

Have you cursed?: i just did? okay, i think i curse everyday without even realizing it.

Have you yelled at someone? can't remember

Have you gotten mad at someone? probably

Have you cried? i'm happy today. somehow.

Have you called more than 3 people?: not a single soul

Have you IMed more than 3 people?: no?

Have you eaten anything gross?: heheh. if you consider oranges soaked in miso soup, various sauces, green tea, udon soup gross then hell yea.

SPILL YOUR GUTS

Q. First thing you did this morning?: wake up and feel like going back to sleep

Q. Last thing you ate?: salmon babeh! woots~

Q. What's something you look forward to most inthe next 6 weeks? good grades [right]

Q. What's annoying you right now? you -cliche-

Q. What's the last movie you saw? urh. urh. i am sam? it's awesome. heheh.

Q. Do you believe in long distance relationships?: why not? it happens.

Q Where is the last place you went?: my room. no, washroom. no. i don't know.

Q: Who is the last person you called?: don't care

Q: Been cheated on?: selin.. why?! -dies-

Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about youright now? : maybe. heheh.

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity): with creativity comes beauty and love. duh.

Q: Do you wish on stars?: urh. urh. when i was young, i always wished i'd see a wishing star so i could wish for cool things like super powers. hahah. silly.

Q: Does it work?: NO. urgh. -stabs-

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you takethem of: can't be bothered. i don't even tie them when i put them on. it's like.. okay, hard to explain.

Q: When did you last cry?: yesterday. man. sucks.

Q: Do you like your handwriting?: sometimes

Q: Are you a friendly person? not to people i'm don't like or whatever. yea.

Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?: who isn't?

Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night? i forgot. i think it was that guy from the pub.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing? blue stained with blood.. urh. okay. red paint.

Q: Do you have any pets? birdie

Q: What is the color of your bedsheets? green? i don't know.

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?: having dinner i think

Q: last person you talked to: selin dearestrestrestest. heheh.

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?: yesterday? yea.

Q: Look to your left: okay, i took a while to figure the direction. always gets confused with them. urgh.

Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep? yea. urgh. whatever. stop talking about such things please.

Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder? my ego will never let me do that. hahah. no, seriously. don't think i'd ever do that.

Q: Song that makes you cry? don't know don't care

Q: Are you a normally happy person? moody. very moody.

Q: Is your self-esteem low? at times, yes.

Q: What color are your eyes? red

Q: Long or Short Hair : urh. doesn't really matter.

Q: Current Music? LARUKU!! LOVE <3

*Evanesced*

The attempted questions

2006-09-14T16:41:00.000+08:00

I ATTEMPTED THREE AND A HALF QUESTIONS OUT OF FIVE FOR POA PAPER TWO TODAY. 8D8D

I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself before. I don't really get them but I still atempted and I handed in like about three and a half pages of work. Woohoohoo. I aim to get a c6 this time round. Okay, I know that's damn low but better than f9 right? -_-'

-sigh-

Had japanese food just now so I'm like, quite happy. :D

Time to study for chinese and do up some sketches for prelims. -stabs-

*Evanesced*

Is It Any Wonder

2006-09-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

I love it. I love keane~ (X

Is It Any Wonder
Keane

I.. I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
be living in the kingdom of the good and true and so on
But now I think I was wrong
and you were laughing along
And now I look a fool for thinking you were on...

My side,
Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand,
It's hard to know where I am,
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm
stranded in the wrong time
where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme, a soundbite

Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

Nothing left inside this old cathedral,
just the sad, lonely spires,
How do you make it right?

Oh, but you try,
Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

*Evanesced*

The laughable poor thing

2006-09-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

I think I feel better now. Still upset but not as bad as before.

Thank you my dearest ttn. I love you so very very much. <3

*Evanesced*

Who to blame

2006-09-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Okay. I know I have maths and physics tomorrow but I'm so upset right now I don't know how I'm gonna study. I will eventually, 'cause emotions are not an excuse in such cases. Even if it is, the school isn't gonna postpone the whole damn thing just because you're feeling down.

I don't know. I seriously don't know.

I don't know how to help you. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know if I should continue to try to be nice to you.

Perhaps I should because you are seriously in a sympathy-deserving state right now. But perhaps I shouldn't because if you look at it from another angle, you realize that as much as you deserve sympathy, you do kinda deserve the sitch you're in right now. I'm not pointing fingers at you like you're a total asshole who deserves to die but I'm just saying that maybe you should take a look at yourself and think about things. There's nothing wrong with being what you are now, but I do hope you would reflect on stuff and ya know, try to handle things differently.

But then again. After what someone said, which totally hit me hard [but thanks anyway 'cause it kinda gave me a third eye to things], maybe it's just me and how I'm seeing things. Like you might not have deserved it and all you deserve right now is sympathy and attention and love. And perhaps it never was your fault in the first place. And I was just being an ass for thinking that way. Maybe I'm just seeing the speck in your eye when there's this log in my own and yea, being a total unreasonable ass for saying that kinda thing about you.

I'm not being sarcastic, mind you. 'cause I really wonder if what that somebody said was true and that at the end of the day, I am the loser who was never able to let anything else in.

And.. one more thing. For someone else. I don't think anybody who doesn't know the whole story would understand this but I just have to say it. I don't care if you feel the same way towards me anymore. I really don't. Or at least, I don't want to because it's pointless now. It's kinda obvious how you see me and how you see things and I'm starting to question my vision of you. Whether you are really that, or something else.

Urgh. I don't know okay. I'm sorry. I totally am. Sorry for having that kinda feelings towards you guys. Maybe if someone really wise and can actually understand me totally can come and tell me what's wrong and what's right now.. I don't know.

*Evanesced*

Some kinda jealousy

2006-09-11T16:36:00.000+08:00

I think I've been wrong about people. Like, some people. But it comes in two kinds.

The first kind is, in the beginning: "I hate you fucker. Goodness. I want you to like, DIE. D<"
And then: "Man. I was so wrong about you. I LOVE YOU! Nyahahah. :3"

The second kind is, in the beginning: "You're awesome man. I LOVE YOU! Nyahahah. :3"
And then: "Man. I was so wrong about you. I hate you fucker. Goodness. I want you to like, DIE. D<"

Yea, okay so hm.

Very irritable right now. Don't ask me why. Just very irritable. Zzrrgghh..

Maths was surprisingly relatively kinda easy.

I have finished my entire coursework. Makes me feel really artsy. Heheh. Now I don't have to stay back every damn day and be home so bloody late and get so fucking spent. Woots~

-crawls off to sketch and revise bio-

*Evanesced*

For You I Will

2006-09-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

I like this song, especially with it's acousticness. (:

For You I Will
Teddy Geiger

Alright (Yeah, Yeah)

wandering the streets in a world underneath it all
But nothing seems to be
Nothing tastes as sweet as what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you

Oh I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannonball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, for you I will

Forgive me if I st-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar
I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times
No more camouflage
I want to be exposed
And not be afraid to fall

Oh I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannonball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can’t have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, for you I will, for you I will, for you...

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood yea, I would
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room yea

That's what I'd do
That's what I'd do
To get through to you yeah

Oh I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannonball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can’t have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will, for you I will, for you I will, for you I will...

Dang

2006-09-08T22:22:00.000+08:00

Goodness gracious. in the end, IN THE END!!! Still had to go to school mon to fri. ARGH. -smacks head-

But it's not so bad when you've got fun people for company. Heheh.

I LIKE LEARNED LIKE POA LIKE TODAY LIKE ZOMG LIKE I LIKE ACTUALLY LIKE KNOW LIKE DOUBLE LIKE ENTRY LIKE NOW LIKE HOO LIKE RAY LIKE -smacks harder- 8D8D

So anyways, anko, john benjamin franklin, sakura, chua yee joo, selin dear XD and fredy boy are good GOOD kids and gary is an awesome teacher. No wait, he says he's not a teacher but anyway. WOOHOO! (X(X

And we also learnt to speak like an accountant. -clears throat- [first time] Sex = Debit Pleasure, Credit Virginity. Great way to pick up people. 8D8D

Like, I'm scaring myself.

*Evanesced*

Twodownhill

2006-09-07T21:07:00.000+08:00

Aye. It's actually kinda sad that paul had to go out. But, ya know, he's just not going anywhere so well. Urgh. I still remember so totally rooting for him from like the auditions. Hahah. And he's always the one with the awesomest and cutest dressing. Man. So gonna miss him. :(

Oh, and I love criss angel. He's sexy.

I'm worried about my coursework. I don't want to get a bad grade or FAIL. NO WAY. -stabs-

-crawls to a corner-

*Evanesced*

The Irwin Turtle Fest

2006-09-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

I didn't know Irwin was such a big thing. I mean, he appeared on the cover page of ST [okay, like the bottom half but whatever] and everybody's putting this turtle emoticon in their msn display nick in remembrance/commemoration of him. Bloody sick. -_-'

Anyway, I've reached chapter 100+ of naruto alreads. WHOOPEE~ Son Of John, you may shut up. I know I'm slow. -stabs-

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

[like, you may ignore that]

-walks away-

*Evanesced*

Root beer and naruto

2006-09-05T17:51:00.000+08:00

Ah. . I'm enjoying my root beer and naruto. Hooray~ But I'm a little hungry so.. -sigh-

I like love like my like coursework? So beautiful~ 8D Hahah. I did something really daring. Like I painted the box and splattered paint on it. Looks pretty good. Hahah. -beams proudly- Okay, so I'm left with on more acrylic piece to tone, stick on the write ups onto the mounting board and touch some stuff up a lil bit and I'm done. Woohoo. (X

Steve Irwin died. Like, he died. OH MY GAWD. He's like this legend person and he DIED. Goodness. Freak accident some more. D:D:

Okay, more naruto for me. Heheh. I actually read 50 chapters over the weekend. So proud of myself la. :D:D

Before I go..

HAPPY BIRDS DAY SON OF JOHN!
Hooray to your new blog! (X

HAPPY BIRDS DAY JOON JOON!
Bloody ass who's getting an N93! -smacks- XD

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

Thrown away

2006-09-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

I have no respect for people who give up on things. And people who blame everyone else for what they have done wrong but they, obviously, refuse to acknowledge and realize this 'cause they are so blinded by their egos. Gawdamnit.

The kind of people who doesn't deserve sympathy or encouragement, but instead more of a slap to the face. Still, they always get it 'cause sometimes people become too shallow to and sometimes even lazy to seek the truth. Therefore, people who truly deserve at least a teeny weeny bit of sympathy and encourgaement for their perseverence and hard work don't really get any.

Now, where's the justice in that? Piss off.

Okay like, I'm just referring to such people in general so yea, if you're the kind then woohoo. Good for you. Whatever.

I seriously can't stand parents/adults who like try and teach us things that they themselves do not fulfill? I mean, basic moralities and stuff. Or some random shit like not to assume things from past experiences or something. Like for crying out loud, don't lecture me on such things when you can't even get it right. I mean, I'll bet I already knew it before you do. Sheesh.

So my brother and I were talking about how the goverment/authorities/adults tend to view us young people. Like we're a bunch of walking terrorists. Ya know, they just judge us? Judge us from the way we look, from the way we do things different from them. I mean, suck it up. We're young people, you're.. old people. We gots different ways of thinking and as long as the intentions aren't really bad, just leave us be man. Learn to lay off for a bit, ya know? If we're gonna follow in your footsteps and do what you do, then nothing will change and well,you probably like that 'cause you simply refuse to adapt to changes. Urgh.

What the hell is wrong with these people? SHEESH.

*Evanesced*

My weakness

2006-09-01T17:47:00.000+08:00

My feelings are in a concoction of melancholy and anger. It seems the case that they love to go hand in hand. And it becomes terribly difficult to comprehend when there is just too much stuffed into it. And I try to indulge in encouragements and sympathy but they don't seem to be working on me right now 'cause I'm just too stinkin' negative these days. No matter how much some people are trying to tell me to be positive and to persevere. Afterall, words are only words. They don't mean a thing when the substance is absent.

Met my primary school friends yesterday and had a fun time relaxing and sleeping through bits of the ktv session at crispin's place. He is one guy with ambition. Singing like he's some uber famous and well loved dude with a gazillion fans worldwide. Hahah. XD And is friend too. Who sounds like bocheng and is extremely tall and kinda.. cute. Obviously, I didn't sing 'cause well, OBVIOUSLY. Yimeng actually has a nice voice.

Okay. Before that, I met others. Daniel looks SO DAMN DIFFERENT. Like, seriously looks tons better. Actually looks good, ya know. Hahah. Damn shocking. The nerdish chubby boy to this.. zomg. And jerome, I heard he was being a total -act cool- sorta person so yea, I dunno. Didn't bother talking to him. Or anyone else. Kok wai, same as ever. Aaron, didn't catch much of him. Terry, also the same. Crispin, crazy but still nice. Jia ming, still the nice intellectual kinda guy. Hahah. And of course, jia hao, the guy with the big heart. Hahah. Oomph. All the guys are like SO TALL now. Man. I feel [am] short. TT'

As for the girls, only managed to meet priscilla who is eccentric as ever. Sabrina who is just.. sabrina. Hahah. Same ol' same ol'. Yimeng is.. Kinda changed. Like she actually wants to be a forensic person, so that she can dissect dead bodies. But her mother wouldn't allow, so she decided on being a gynaecologist [however you spell that]. As for cristal.. Goodness. We're in the same school so wth. XD

Shall not get into the day. Just that it kinda made me happy but today, I woke up at like 3, but I'm like tired and unhappy now. And -points to first paragraph-. Yea. Holidays are here and this time, I don't have to have it occupied by school. Hoo. Ray. Whatever.

I shouldn't have came online. I mean, my brother just installed the router thing but man. I suppose I don't miss the net as much as I had. Guess I just don't know how to embrace it.

So not in the mood for anything. -crawls away-

*Evanesced*

Decide please. DECIDE.

2006-08-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

I read it. Damn it.

Please decide on what kinda person you wanna be. I mean, you go around claiming you're this but your actions and shits make you out to be someone completely different. WTH?

Here's on single positive comment I'll ever give to you. YOU ARE RIGHT. And for everything positive I say for people I don't like, it always follows with a negative. So.. YOU ARE RIGHT. -follow on- I DON'T CARE. I NEVER EXPECTED ANYTHING. I WON'T WANT IT EITHER. PLEASE. Don't even consider. Just take it as I'm begging you. urgh. -rolls eyes-

But here's the thing yo. I admit that I've done a lot of things to you and you have done things to me too so we're kinda equal and if you wanna keep doing things to me, I won't mind.. MUCH. But if you want to do something to like my friend? Please think about it first. 'cause I HATE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE FUNNY WITH MY FRIENDS AND IF YOU HURT THEM/HER, I WILL MAKE SURE I HURT YOU REALLY BAD PERSONALLY. Don't even try. D<

Or I can always get sakura chan to to half heal you over and over while I stab you with my kunais. OR, heheh. This is totally awesome. I can get itachi sama to like do tsukiyomi on you and you'll be suffering in extreme pain [which you probably think is SO DAMN COOL] for like a gazillion days but you're never ever die. Dying but never dead. Oh gawd. I LOVE IT. (:

Wells. I shall go no further. Anger has simmered down. So yea.. -hops away-

*Evanesced*

By the reservoir of ants and such

2006-08-26T14:44:00.000+08:00

I.. actually.. rebonded my fringe. Or whatever you call it. And.. I.. LOVE IT. (:

Anyone who thinks it's a horrible disaster.. well, -smacks-

Yesterday was kinda rushy and upsetting. So I was in the art room wondering if I should go for that farewell shit and in the end I went 'cause ya know.. be nice. So we seniors got blindfolded and urgh. I already knew where we were going and that was so.. -whatever-. But never mind, ruby was my guider and I seriously think she's a really really nice girl. =D

Anyway, we went to this reservoir place that's infested with ants and dragonflies and crickets and what nots. My goodness. Freaks the hell outta me. -_-' And there were a bunch of turtle things in the water that refuses to come into my reach so I can grab it and play with it for a bit. Hahah. -throws stones in the water-

So I was just walking around the steep slope grass place thing and there was once I decided to go all the way to the top and woah. Good view. Hahah. I mean, yea. Looking down on those little people there. Oomph. Entertaining.

And blah blah blah, was boring but time passed eal fast. Seems to anyway. And I managed to stay dry when they were going crazy trying to wet each other which was.. -whatever- Then I got upset with something and decided to just sit alone somewhere where I started to get kinda angsty and started to vent my frustrations out on some bottle thing. Man. Felt good.

But the kids came to me with this prettsy cutesy shoebox thing filled with cards and personal messages. Arrhhh.. So sweet. Made my day for a bit. (=

After that had to rush back for art 'cause I heard news that mr sam was going berserk. Or something. As in he was real angry and stuff. Ran all the way up to the art room only to realize that he wasn't there and when I did see him, he wasn't in that bad a mood. In fact, looks pretty good to me. wth. -_-'

AND HE COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY MOUNTING BOARDS. YEAH~ happyness. (X

Man. I actually decided to write personal messages to all my juniors [most of them anyway] in the midst of rushing my coursework. Hahah. So nice right? All very genuine some more. No stuffs like all the best or whatever. Oomph. -beams proudly- :D:D

Man. COURSEWORK COURSEWORK COURSEWORK! -dies-

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

Bitch Hole

2006-08-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

I HATE MY ENG/LIT TEACHER.

And that's not slander. It's merely a personal opinion. I do understand to a whole extent that I was wrong in what I did but I don't understand why you chose to pick on ME. WHY? And you really didn't have to say what you said 'cause it seriously gave me this huge stab right through my heart and ya know, I would have shouted at you real bad but I slammed the door instead so count yourself lucky this time. D<

It's been an extremely busy week and I forsee a deterioration in the circumstances. Damn it. My minds's all muddled and I'm tired and I need a break and argh. -stabby rip stab stab-

AND, I've become more bad tempered these days [probably a result of sleep deprivation] and I get irritated and upset super easily. Especially irritated. Annoyed by the slightest things. Urgsh.

It was totally upsetting that diana didn't clinch the shit. I mean, with all her supporters over here. Man. Total upsetness. D: But anyway, she's a real winner in her own special way and she deserves to be loved loads and loads. (=

There's like physics mock tomorrow and I don't know if I'll study or just rely on my whatever intelligence there is in there. Plus, coursework ain't done yet. Shitness. And on friday, there's detention and maths mock. Plus, to give face to the teachers who took the "pains" to invite us and attend that last session. Man, But I don't really feel like going. See people I don't wanna see, listen to people I don't wanna listen to. :(

Oh well.

-crawls to a corner-

*Evanesced*

Fall that never ends

2006-08-20T14:24:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm.. falling. And it doesn't end. And I just keep falling and falling, lower and lower and.. I don't know what's gonna happen. Maybe there'll be this branch nearby I can hang onto for a bit.

Watched 'Unfaithful' last night and man.. such a nice show. Not just sex, but really.. full of meaning and intentions? I don't know how to say it. Like every movement, everything that happens means something and the emotions are just so.. there. Kinda sad that the dude had to like.. die. The weirdest thing is that he just stood there for the other dude to hit his head and all that. I'm thinking that if the lead actress were prettier and younger, I would've liked it better. But oh well, still nice anyhoos.

I've served all my detentions alreads. I did double on friday and, yea. Got my stuff back. Hooray.

Struggling to finish my coursework. Mr Sam complimented my work yesterday. SO HAPPY~ I mean, he's the type who tends to keep silent when he feels your work ain't there yet. He'll be like -keeps quiet and stare-, then usually gives some comments. But when he feels your work is there, he'll just be "mm. nice." and walks away. Which he gave me and made me super super happy. (X

But I'm not happy now. -sigh- :(

I'm sure you're wondering why. 'cause none of you have the slightest courtesy to think about how people actually feel when you do that kind of things. I backed you up man. I was willing to back you up all the way. But all you did was dismiss me and throw me away like some trash thing. Sheesh.

And I don't need competition here. I don't need people who knows I've progressing in my work and then keep silent and walk away. No motivation, no nothing. I don't know if friends are supposed to like compete with each other in such things, 'cause I'm not. Duh. So sorry that I don't complain and complain and complain some more about practically everything.

First off, I think my work is good. It's not bad, it's not wonderful, but it's good. I like my concept, I know what I'm doing, I don't care if other people have beautiful shits. I really don't. I mean, do you see me complaining about how ugly my work is? Asking someone for an opinion and then answering for that person about how negative my work is? I don't what. But you do. And I wish you'd stop asking me questions. Like shut up and continue painting. And if you're not satisfied, then that's really your own problem 'cause you can't accept the fact that that is where your work will be. It's good enough and everybody has diff styles so it'll look different. It's not ugly or anything, just different. I regretted even helping you with your concept and layout and theme. [shouts: UNDER APPRECIATION, HELLO.] And it kinda sickens me that you have the things in your work that I have? Please, I'm not honored at all. SHEESH.

SOME PEOPLE. Zrgh. -stabby rip stab stab-

I don't wanna go to school please. I really don't. I wish the principal would send me a letter stating that I'm suspended from school days. And the only time I need to go back is for prelims and o's. Or maybe I don't even have to go back at all. Go to some private place to have it. Man, have it all alone and get it over with then proceed to my future.

I seriously wish that time will just stop for a while. Like, everything just stops and I'm the only person moving around. So I can get things done and things don't just pour in. And I get annoyed when people tell me I'm JUST STRESSED OUT. 'cause I'm not. I'm just weak, ya know? I don't get stressed about little things like school work. It's just that I don't feel that I get enough support from people I had hoped would give it to me just as much as I had given it to them. But all people care about nowadays is their own well being. They don't even bother to stop in their tracks and think about others. Urgsh.

Feckos. I'm off.

*Evanesced*

Souls from the chimney tops

2006-08-18T22:25:00.000+08:00

I've been like.. proofreading my entries just now. Man, some of them just make me laugh. Never knew I was that funny. Hahah. Right. TT'

Funeral ritual things are creepy. The one I went to recently had the people donning black gowns things and they just start muttering/singing some stuff. And 'cause there's like so many people, it gets real loud. Feels especially awkward when you're just sitting at a table talking about art. Hahah. o_o'

But but BUT, the corpse viewing thing is kinda neat. Cute how they tend to look smaller and crammed up. But you can't just stand there and stare/examine 'cause it would be totally rude and.. inauspicious! -_-'

Ya know, I always thought that the dead people's souls/spirits always comes out from those chimney things at the crematorium. And I still.. kinda do think that. =X

Well, to whom it may concern, I wish you all the best for your coursework, prelims and o's. I know it aint easy coping with like, a death of an immediate family member, but ya know, hopfully you'll continue to stay strong and yea. (=

Oomph. Still not feeling too good today. Some stuff that some people did. I don't know. It kinda pisses me off. But upsets me at the same time. Oh wells. :/

Good day, people.

*Evanesced*

Just gotta do it right

2006-08-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

I can already sense people feeling pretty fucked about the school's sudden decision to check our lovely blogs for any scandolous remarks on well, teachers.

Here's the thing, people/fellow students. Teachers are NOT stupid people. Don't think that just because they're all "how the hell do you operate the visualizer shit?" it means they know nuts about the internet and stuff. I mean, they're TEACHERS. They're uni grads. They're the MOE persons. They're people who carry laptops around and actually know how to use it. They're people who frequently do soft copy work. They're people who prepare powerpoint slides [although some are just ripped from teacher's resource cds]. You see? They know the fundamentals. And they know more than that, I'm sure. They are, afterall, teachers. DUH.

So before you're all "aiya! bitch about my cher won't die one la. like they know how to go internet like that. even if they do, also won't go our blog one ma.", be mindful that they actually do go around reading blogs like everyone else. And when you're punished for your scandalous remarks, don't be all "what the fuck sia! my personal blog what! not happy don't read la! this is free world okay. freedom of speech sia. I got rights when I born one hor!" [whateverness to the excessive singlishness].

Okay, firstly, yea sure. It's YOUR PERSONAL BLOG. But technically, it's not completely yours. If you're using blogger, blogger owns part of it. Or any other host you're using. If you paid for it, well, the person whom you're paying to owns part of it. Nothing in this world is completely yours, if you think about it. So yea.

And dig this, "not happy don't read" is suicide. When you're not happy, but you've already read, then what do you do? Pretend you didn't read anything? DUH. You'll obviously flare up a bit and be all fucked about it afterwards. You wouldn't like it, would you? For example, your name is say, John Kan Nee Nah. So someone goes "that john kan nee nah ah! sucks to the core sia! wish he die now ah! knn that fucker man. he son of a prostitute sia! fucking -inserts vulgarities-" Would you be all jumpy and happy about it or not do anything? Sheesh.

There's no freedom of speech when you're not responsible for what you say. Sure, the world is so free, you just say what you want. But when you say something that could defame someone, then be expected to pay a price. Don't be an ass. Freedom of speech are for people who have enough sense to give constructive criticisms. For example, "I think john kan should be less selfish and be more considerate towards others. I hope he realizes that one day. I really do." There you go, simple as that. No need for redundant vulgarities and all fuckety fuck about it.

Ya know, the last resort when you REALLY REALLY have to let it out and your blog is like THE place to do so, then simply don't mention names. Easy as pie. They can't do much when they can't completely confirm who you're talking about. 8D8D

So you see people? That's life. Or at least the world for you. Unless you're determined to shift your arse to like jupiter or something, you gotta conform to the rules of the world. And rules aren't just law and order, it's also all the moralities and shits. Know where the line is, don't cross it. Please get that into your head, no matter how brain cells deprived it is.

Sheesh. I'm not being goody two shoes here. Just feel it's kinda ridiculous when people think they're always right no matter how wrong they are. -rolls eyes-

*Evanesced*

Are you crying?

2006-08-15T23:23:00.000+08:00

I think it's really hard for people to be around me for long and enjoy it at the same time.

My moods have become swingier and jumpier these days. Which does not mean I'm happy or whatever. It just means I'm nice for a moment and suddenly I'm angry and upset and I feel like digging a hole and crawling into it so I can bite myself till I bleed and die away slowly.

Urgsh. Bleeding. Fucking bleeding. Inside, where the blood is pushing their way out of my arteries and capillaries and my inards are bursting and all the blood feels about to gush out and suddenly, when I'm walking along, I just drop and die. ARGH.

It doesn't help when you're human and punching walls too hard can cause you to break a few bones. It's not much abut the pain, just that I don't wanna waste my precious hands away just 'cause I'm angry or upset or whatever. Nonetheless, punching walls can make you feel better. At for me. Maybe 'cause they're real solid shits and they don't bend in like soft things do. Tells you they're tough and you should be too. Or something. Arrhh.. I'm not encouraging anyone to do so though. -_-;

Zrrgghh.. Will everyone just stop it with the naruto this, naruto that? It's driving me up the wall. And my group. My anbu group. I love them, they're nice people but I.. I just can't commit myself anymore. I'm getting weaker and weaker by the day. Losing my touch, losing control, growing unstable. I know it's a little thing in my life, but I just can't. At least not for now anyway. Sure, I have a huge passion for cosplay and stuffs but this is just.. I don't know. It's just me I guess. Can't take it. Can't handle it. Too weak. But no, I'm not quitting. Unless I die along the way or something.

Yea well, I'm feeling that bloody shitting void again and it's really quite horrid when nobody's filling it. I mean, some people do sometimes. But as fast as it fills up, it gets sucked away in the next second. Then there are all those people you HAVE to be nice to and be happy around else they'll be like wtf?! and ya know, NOT UNDERSTAND what's going on. Guess it's about being fair and reasonable and not just pms as you wish.
ZRGH. I don't wanna say anymore. Too tired and unstable to think things properly.

Goodbye people.

*Evanesced*

The ANBU Invasion

2006-08-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

OOMPH! X3

Hm. Just as usual, art in the morning made me upset and I was all emo until I decided to sleep for a bit and was feeling loads better after that. Art class always makes me really upset for a moment and then happy again. Like when Mr Sam extends our datelines or tell me something about my work, I'd be super duper happy. Hahah. All -jumping around- kinda shit. (X But I get kinda scared being there sometimes 'cause there's like two sec 5s threatening to strip and rape me. ARH! I'm so innocent okay. -hides in a corner- >_<

So anyway, went home earlier since Mr Sam-o wasn't coming D:, bathed, got changed and was "fashionably" late meeting kakashi-sensei [-coughs- i am still TEH mighty sensei but calling putting the sensei after his name sounds nicer. hahah.] and sakura-chan. Aiya shit. Bad habit. Hahah. TT' Met the rest at the esplanade thereafter.

Neji looks cute. Jiraiya [whom they kept insisting was temari. DUH. we're not stupid okay. XD] look like.. a pervert. :x But anyway, most of us are perverts anyway. Don't deny it people! It's hidden somewhere inside. It's totally okay to have that lil bit of -ahem- fetish inside yes? Hahah. XD Temari [yes, the REAL ONE -_-'] looks really REALLY cute.. and mixed. Naruto looks really cute too [hurray for uzumaki! (X] and I kept thinking that she and jiraiya are a couple. Hahah. Oh well, you never know. 8D Itachi aka leader-sama is pretty! Fat necked :x but still.. cute, pretty and funny. Nyaahaha. Seems very charismatic too. Reminds me of someone. Somehow. 8D Hayate is so.. tall. Hahah. Or maybe I'm just short. TT' -stares at kakashi-sensei with threatening eyes and prepares kunai to poke his arse- XD Haku looks like this cousin of mine. Or at least reminds me of her since I haven't seen her in so long. D: And her voice.. Her voice reminded me of my aunt's. Plus, she lives very near me. Weirdess. Hahah. o_o?

Then we went outside the esplanade and just sat there while sakura-chan and I were being "emo" -tucks legs close to body and buries head in them- and anti-social. Hahah. I guess they tried to break the ice by playing that each person says a word to string a story together game and being the perverts we are, it turned.. kinda nasty. XD Same goes for the say a word that comes to yoour mind when you hear the previous word game. Jiraiya seems to always have this perverted look hanging on his face whenever it's his turn? ZOMG. So creepy! XD Plus, poor neji kept on getting shot at. Hahah. Damn hilarious. XDXD

Later on, kakashi-sensei, sakura-chan and I ended up sharing lame jokes which we still laughed over like crazy amongst ourselves. They must think we're like super persistent on being anti-social. Hahah. So that sakura-chan sabo-ed me to share the jokes with them. Oomph. -stares at sakura-chan with threatening eyes and prepares shurikens to stuff down her throat- XD We sat there for like.. two hours plus? My poor butt was hurting man. Good thing I was careful not to sit on my chains. If not it'll be like.. OUCH. Hahah.

Fireworks finally started and went on for like.. fifteen minutes. -_-' There was this time when I was like "Eh, look like sperms man!" XD and this girl in front turned around, looked at me and smiled. ARRHH.. -hides in a corner- >_<

Man. After it all ended and we wanted to scram, everybody else wanted to too and it was SO CROWDED! D: Took kakashi-sensei, sakura-chan and I about forty five minutes just to get back into the esplande and to citylink to meet the rest. Man.. Ended up queuing at the coffee conoisseur but damn. No spaces left and we gots to wait damn ass long for enough. So we just headed for gelare and sakura-chan and I just ordered some iced chocolate drink thing and cookies to anti-social away in our own world. Hahah. TT' Oomph. Nonetheless, I love those sinful shits. 8D So they just talked, we just tried to talk and after that we just left. Hahah. Man, oh man. Sakura-chan! We're such failures! >_<

Took a train home with haku, hayate and neji. That PSK. Hmph. XD Mostly, haku and hayate were trying to get some conversation going on with me and neji was anti-socialing in a corner. Hahah. The three of us got off at the same stop and walked home together. SUCH A SMALL WORLD MAN. O_O But we never actually realized how near we have been to each other until then! XD

Oomph. Detail-ish. I don't know, I guess just loved the meeting. 'twas so nice to finally meet those awesome people. Hahah. Whoopee~ (X(X

-skips around and disappears-

*Evanesced*

Fine and dead

2006-08-10T00:19:00.000+08:00

My current feeling now is like.. in between fine and dead. Which means I'm not in a good mood so don't piss me off. Or whatever.

Well, father was pissing me off just now. I mean, whatever you know. Go on and be angry or whatever. Don't get me involved. And that fucking mother.. fucking shit. I don't wanna stay here. Or live here. Or whatever here. Shit this whole place. Burn it down. Smash it to smithereens.

I'm like trying to draw a mod anbu kakashi for well, kakashi. Since he claims that he sucks at drawing and well.. Me being nice. Hahah. Whatever. It's quite hard to draw a guy in fashion illustration 'cause I usually only do girls. So I gotta hop over to the how to draw manga book and get a template. More accurate this way, see. Currently, it loos like anbu kaka. Don't know what to mod man. It'll end up looking punk, I'm afraid. -_-'

Anyway, tomorrow is the last day of the really short hols and I haven't touched my art. Shit. Nor my homework. Shit. And father has been bugging me about all those for eternity. Shit. And he's gonna be bugging even more if he doesn't SEE me actually doing constructive stuff. Shit. Who ask him to drag me to peninsula today. No wait, I initiated the idea. Shit. I woke up at three in the afternoon today. Shit. My school shoes have gone unwashed ever since I bought it. Shit. I'm over procrastinating. Shit.

shit shit SHIT. -stabs-

I feel like skipping school on friday. But.. BUT, we gotta go for art 'cause those blasted art teachers wanna "mark" our coursework, give us a grade and see if we're good enough for prelims and olevel p2. Suckness. Art for prelims is three fucking hours long. I feel like dying already. Some more I heard for olevel the paper is gonna be A2 size big. Maybe I should just go die now. -stabs some more-

I hate olevels. I hate prelims. I hate being sec4. I hate school. I hate everything. Shit.

Happy bloody birthday, singapore. I don't really love you.

My mood swings are getting outta control. Urgsh. -crawls to a corner to bleed-

*Evanesced*

Sudden emoness

2006-08-09T03:17:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, but I suddenly feel.. sad. This is stupid. I was so happy a moment ago. Argh.

I think it's blue october's hate me. Or maybe not. Tsk. What am I saying.

I think I watched like eight episodes of naruto today? Man.. me poor eyes. In addition to reading urh.. about five chapters of the manga. Man. I really love zabuza and haku. I wonder if they're gay. Hmm.. haku is like some pretty girl and zabuza is this sexy dude who takes care of him. No wait, haku takes care of zabuza. Urh.. No wait. Doesn't matter 'cause I'll still love them. They are like this bonded couple whereby the younger one is totally loyal to the older one. Yea, that sorta thing. I really like it. Hahah. Dying for each other kinda of stuff. Okay whatever. -cheesy-

Inari is actually quite cute but when he's being a sissy, he's so irritating I wanna punch him [or the screen anyway]. And naruto.. zomg. Naruto is a true blue moron. Hahah. And sasuke ain't so stuck up after all. Quite cute eh. :3 Sakura.. well, I still can't see her strengths besides being smart and good with her chakra. Reminds me of hermoine. Hahah. Arrhh.. Kakashi. KAKASHI! And I can't wait to get to orochimaru. Man.. So to die for. Pale skin and long tongue that makes you wanna have him lick you. And kiss you so you gots this neat cursed seal thing on your neck. Heheh. X3

Oh man. It's like.. three plus in the morning now and I wanna watch more but the earphones are making my ears hurt and sometimes it presses onto my fresh piercings. -wince- And my eyes.. I dunno. I don't think it can face the screen any longer. I should get some sleep and do some constructive stuff besides watching anime and reading manga tomorrow. I've been like coughing at random times. -bad omen-

Oomph. I'm hungry. I want dango. No, I wanna drink some milk. Oh whatever.

-crawls to a corner, squats there and does nothing-

*Evanesced*

Oh happy week

2006-08-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

'tis the week to be jolly~ nyaargh. XD

Why?

Because I got more piercings, there's ABSOLUTELY NO SCHOOL for the next two days [yes, NO ART :D:D], I'm gonna go watch fireworks on sat with my anbu team [finally, we get to meet (X], and urhh.. I dunno. Hahah.

Oomph. Trying to settle some financial crisis thingy for the ninjato, costume, nin nin sandals, kunais and shurikens and some other stuff. Okay, um, the latter two are still okay, but the ninjato is like.. ninety bucks. Man oh man. Nin nin sandals are about fifty. Tsk. I'm broke man. T_T'

Today was the NDC. Which sucked. I was just hanging around the class when the damn master parade shit was going on. Silly. Then the hall shit was even worse. So dumb man. NE quiz was kinda shitty. Urgsh. I guess I just don't dig NDCs much. -_-'

After that went to have a long lunch worshipping the maple syrup. XD

Then for art which kinda sucked. Didn't do much. Hm. Plan on doing more stuff over the next two days and just finish it off by the end of the week so that can go for the CosCon this sat. Oomph.

And after art, went with sakura to meet jasper and we went to bishan to get my piercings and sakura's poster which she is probably fangirling like mad over now. XD Then off to chinatown to look for that cosplay shop thingy. Saw really neat costumes and stuff. Found our nin nin sandals but well, fifty bucks man. Still, it does not require shipping and it probably has has our sizes. Saw shurikens costing FIFTEEN BUCKS! My gawd. And it's not even a windmill. Just this lil one. Good thing we're shipping those in. And a real life kunai, as claimed by the man, which doesn't cut. Hahah. But still, looks dangerous and totally neat. :D:D

Left and I decided to take the long way, like travelling to marina bay and back. At the same time accompanied jasper. Hahah. SO KIND OF ME YAR?? 8D Okay whatever. I just like long train rides sometimes. Can sit and relax. Hahah. (X

Oh wells, nice day. Whee~

-skips around-

*Evanesced*

Does it hurt down there?

2006-08-06T14:12:00.000+08:00

I notice that guys don't really like crossing their legs 'cause it hurts down south [according to some guy friends of mine]. So I always have this impression that it hurts whenever they cross their legs. But somehow, some guys can just cross their legs without looking like they're in pain or something. Makes you wonder, doesn't it. XD

Ah well. Anyway, I just wanted to say that. Hm.

I can't believe I'm actually watching and reading naruto at the same time. I only planned on watching it after I finish reading it but decided to watch it now. Don't ask me why. I notice that in the anime, hinata, ino, shikamaru and that chouji fat shit is being given more attention unlike in the manga. Hinata reminds me of shinobu, or nodoka. Hahah. Cute. She has a crush on naruto I think. Ino has this bang that looks kinda weird. 'cause it just falls on one side and it lacks flowyness. Or whatever. Never mind. Chouji is fat and disgusting and he looks like some old hag. Don't even wanna go there. Shikamaru seems to have this stunning resemblance to ikura-sensei. Kakashi-sensei still rocks in his sexyness. And sasuke too. Nyaahahah. -fangirls-

I plan on watching more haruhi today, after much procrastination. And I finally went to finish off my second book of nanan. -so damn slow- And am currently reading my .hack//legend of the twilight bracelet book two which I have bought eons ago and I plan on continuing to book three [which is the last alreads]. Zelfi is SO DAMN CUTE. Ouka and rena are TEH HOTNESS. :3 And I like the two "secretaries" of the green knights and balmung. Such cute and cool looking people. Balmung is TEH BISHINESS. Oomph. -fangirls some more-

Oh yes, did I mention how I also finished reading my sayuki reload book one? Hahah. I also plan on continuing that one. All four of them are TEH BISHINESS. I love goku. SO DAMN CUTE. And gojyo. That long haired womanizer dude. SO VERY SEXEH~ X3 And I thought the first lady who appeared with that lil girl has this resemblance to sanzo. Hahah. Weird. Saiyuki reloadness is loveness. Nyaarrgh. (X

Man. I should be getting my love hina back from daryl. Seven bloody books still with him. Only problem is trying to lug it back. Oh, and trying to make him remember. Hahah. Oh well. I've watched love hina like about two times before alreads. And read till dunno which book. And the ova, love hina again rocks man. Keitaro's "sister" is pretty sexy too. Heheh. If I'm not wrong, she shares the same seiyuu as yue from negima! Woohoo. Yue rocks. Shit. Back into fangirl mode again.

I've still gotta find time to read death note, shaman king, one piece, furuba, negima, hikaru no go, and some others. Plus, watch elfen lied, fate stay night, kino's travels, someday dreamers and urh.. I dunno. Oh, and listen to pink floyd's songs. Hahah.

Oomph. Off to watch haruhi and naruto [and read] now. Hooray! (X

*Evanesced*

Balancing it out

2006-08-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

I came back from dinner just now with ttn. We actually ended up at lot 1 just to have long john [which sounds totally wrong so I'm gonna add in the silver] silver. Sick. XD

So we just talked and talked and talked some more. Felt sad about things, laughed a lot over things neil humphrey said. Blah blah blah. Overall, good evening. =D

Morning was pretty bleah. Woke up with a headache and didn't want to go to school. But had to in the end before mr sam calls and scream in my ear. It was quite depressing at first. I mean, people were all moody and shits. It's quite sickening 'cause when other people are upset, you're so damned obliged to look happy so that they may be happy sooner or later. But you're upset and you can't show it and nobody actually cares so what the fucking hell. SHEESH.

So we just decided to go to the com and look through friendster profiles for some odd reason. Spent a lot of time going ZOMG! and laughing. XD And wasting a lot of time from our precious coursework. Oh, and I made a new horny friend today. Okay, wth. She's pretty much eccentric and I like eccentric people 'cause I am probably eccentric myself. Yeah! (:

So we were sexing around.. -coughs- I mean, trying to do our coursework before the almighty samness comes up. So he did and we were all trying to look like we've been slaving over our coursework the whole time. Doodeedoo. Got us to pack up and off we went. Walked around for a bit with vick and nas before I went to meet my dear ttn. Woohoo~

I know I sound happy but I'm not. In fact, I'm quite angry and I don't know why. I'm just angry and upset and angry and very upset and very very angry and extremely upset so yea. Fuck all.

*Evanesced*

I wanna whack someone

2006-08-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but these days, I've been totally wanting to whack someone. Like grab by the collar and punch him/her in the face. Zrgh.

I was late two days in a row. Okay, I don't see the point in detention. I'm not afraid of going there [i mean, whatever for? o_O'], I just feel annoyed when I go there and all those [fucking bengs and lians] are there and the DT seems to treat you like you've committed some major crime [or maybe i'm too sensitive. i dunno.]. Whatever. I skipped it for art [hooray to mr sam! (X] and even thought we were told we have to go serve it another day, I just so hope he forgot and we don't EVER have to go.

I don't like the fact that I get punished for being late. It makes me rush to a place I have little desire to be in. Not like I hate my school.. I mean, I just don't like school in general. And.. being punished for not being there on time and not doing the whole flag raising thing annoys me. Urgsh. Seriously hard to try and conform to the whole system thing. -_-'

I notice that I tend to get angry really easily nowadays. Like one little thing can make me wanna kill someone. Something like that anyway. Especially during chinese class. I HATE CHINESE CLASS. It sickens me to my stomach. I don't like travelling all the way there, I don't like seeing the people there [except maybe daryl and well, yea. i guess i just have this thing against the people from that certain class], I don't like hearing any of them talk about anything, I don't like the messy tables there, I don't like ANYTHING. -stabby rip stab stab-

Mother made me so pissed yesterday I cried. Fuck man. And she DARED be all "say a few words only you also so angry" and fuck her. I SO HATED HER last night. I was all wants-to-stab-her-to-death and run away from home or something. Can you believe it?! I actually thought of running away. That's like.. a bad thing. I mean, it's stupid to run away from home 'cause you go out there and you have no money and no shelter and no whatever. Shit man. How I wish I can just lock myself in my room all day. But the com's not there anymore 'cause she's so damn suspiscious of what I do on it. And there's no washroom in there and there's no kitchen or whatever in there so everytime I gotta come out, it sickens me. And it irritates me when I close my door and she opens it and is all faggoty about it. Like I'm being some horrible kid who just wants to rebel against my parents. I mean, give me a break. I think you're afraid I might hate you. I really do think so. All the things you do, the words you say, you can't hide it. But ya know, too bad. I already do and you can't change that unless you make really huge sacrifices or something. I don't care if you gave birth to me and brought me up. You're just a no good whom I never wanna be like when I'm older. NEVER EVER. I'll kill myself if I were to ever turn into another you. Which will probably never happen. -stabs-

Father is no better sometimes. Really, adults are so.. horribly weird. Pisses me off me. >=(

I still haven't finished my coursework and mr sam is extending our dateline. So I'm really trying to concentrate now and not bother about people who are simply there to procrastinate and do nothing about anything. And STOP SLEEPING. I keep falling asleep in class and all these days. Like when I sleep, I'll sleep for quite long and when I wake up, my leg will go numb [for whatever reason] and my arm too. Then that period of time it takes to let it feel normal again is pretty much terrible. Urgsh.

I really want to finish my coursework and make myself proud. I know I'm the one nobody actually envies 'cause there's always this someone else who is better at painting and all that. It's quite disheartening when nobody says anything about your work and all you have is yourself to tell you where to go. Like whatever. I'm just glad I have a good clear concept and I know what I'm doing and all I gotta do it just draw, paint and finish the damn thing. Unlike all those who paint fantastically or whatever but have no idea what they're doing. I actually feel quite sad for them 'cause their skills would have been useful for a good concept but well.. you know how people tend to get. -sigh- :(

By the way, I am really REALLY disgusted by that dude beside me. He digs his fucking nose and flicks the goo everywhere. Or rolls it somewhere. It's totally sick. And not just that, the other day I caught him.. fondling with his thingy down south. Like maybe he got itchy or something but YUCK! It's so effin' GROSS! URRRGGHHH. He looks like he's wanking or something. Which is WORSE! O_O'

Why? WHY?! Why am I stuck in all this misery. Urgsh. -stabs-

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

Losing

2006-07-31T21:42:00.000+08:00

Your arrogance ticks me off. I wish you'd just shut up and stop giving all those fucked up faces. My gawd, I really feel like punching your face in all the way till all that's left are creases and blood. Urgsh.

I've been given until thursday to finish my acrylic boards. NOT FAIR! And I'm not whining about it here. As in seriously UNFAIR. Such injustice. I know I should be pushing myself but that's like.. unrealistic. I don't even get one day for one bloody board. And I usually need more than one day for just like.. ONE. How come other people get more days than me? It's not fair, I tell you. Acrylic is like a ton harder to paint than on canvas. Imagine having to laden it with a gazillion layers of paint and when it gets "accidentally" scratched or rubbed with a wet cloth of whatever, the paint goes off and it's so horribly difficult to touch up. Zrgh. I hate this. -stabs it to death-

I think losing someone or something important to you is like walking along the yellow line at the train station and having the train right beside you. At first you feel safe and all right 'cause it's still and its like something these to block you from the tracks or the outside or whatever. But when it starts to move, it gets real scary. Like you're moving with it but it pulls out of the station and you don't and when it just goes away, revealing the tracks and the outside again, you feel like falling in. So scary. Okay, um. In the case of losing someone, it's more of hurting than being scared so yea. Wth.

Urgsh. I don't know why. Maybe it's 'cause I've never stopped loving you. But that's not possible. I don't think I've ever shed a tear when you sorta told me it's not gonna work out. I just went along with it. But ya know, each time I see you now, I feel so.. upset. And angry with myself for not having put in more effort on my part so that perhaps things would've worked out. Arrhh.. And you, being the nice and friendly one, you'd give a smiley hi but I would just be waving a little and forcing a little smile. Oomph. Why? I don't know. Maybe we're too different or something? I'm not the sort for you or something. Ya know, I really really long for those words again. When you told me you've been like waiting for me for months and all. That you really want to be with me. Yea, I mean it was all mushy and shits but it meant something. It made me happy! I felt wanted and I felt loved. But.. well, I don't wanna go on anymore. Urgsh.

Oh wells. I was really upset last night. Just cried. And stopped. And cried. And stopped. And.. well. Not because of -points above- but I don't know. I seriously don't. PMSing should be over by now. I should stop thinking so much and be happier. Urgh. -bleeds to death-

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

Pure Acoustic

2006-07-30T16:05:00.000+08:00

OH YEEAAAAHHH!!!!! I GOTS 'PURE ACOUSTIC'!! I wanted it the minute I saw it on tv and there's like keane and coldplay and oh me goodieness!! WOOHOO~ (X(X

Mother ACTUALLY bought it for me. Usually she doesn't do that 'cause she doesn't dig the stuff I listen to. Thinks they're noisy and all. But ooh lala, she did this time. Oomph. -moment of loving mother- XD

I love keane~ Now I want 'Under The Iron Sea'. The bonus one. Urgsh. Money.. I NEED MONEH!! :(:(

Anyway, It's been long since I last blogged. No time, nothing much to blog about. Basically, it's just all art. And I love my ANBU group. Such fun and nice people. =D

I have been EXTREMELY deprive of death note and naruto these days so yea.. off now.

-skips off to read more manga-

*Evanesced*

Trying to be funny eh?

2006-07-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

Some people just SO TRY to be funny, no matter how cliched the whole "joke" is? Why oh WHY? For example, this morning, the DM just HAD to make us say the pledge thing again due to our apparent softness. So like, people just HAD to shout it out real loud with sniggers in between. I mean, what in effin' hell's so funny? o_O??

Then this relief teacher come into our class, introducing herself as miss chua and this idiot just HAD to be like "Are you mrs chua's daughter? -silly shittin' laughter-" and some others just HAD to be like "Are you mrs chua's sister? --more silly shittin' laughter-" whereby the latter doesn't make much sense 'cause the lady's a "Mrs" and the other's a "Miss" [dig?]. So like, OH YE EFFIN' SHIT? There are probably like a gazillion chuas in this world and they just HAD to make it seem like all of them are related to each other. So if my surname is "Lee" [which it isn't], then like LKY is my what? Father? Gramps? BROTHER? Sheesh.

Another thing. Some teachers are so.. bleah. I forgot to bring my maths book today and that's like a once in a blue shittin' moon thing but she HAD to be like " That's not a goosd enough excuse. It's been overused already" and I was SO on the verge of going "Well, it's been overused by OTHER people but I've only used it like once or twice or something? " Better not to, lest she PMSes again man. Zrgh.

Anyway, on to other things. I've been reading death note [duh] and ooh me gawdness! SO NICE. Raito is THE bishi, L is THE bishi and um.. yea. Weird thing is that since you already know what Raito's up to, then that makes L seem kinda stupid when he seems to make the wrong guesses and stuff. But whatever, L is LOVE~ X3

Have also been reading Naruto Just started on that one. Been hearing rave reviews about how it's really nice, and well, it's very popular as a lot might already know. Hahah. Uzumaki Naruto is SO DAMN CUTE. Not much of a bish, but SUPER SUPER ADORABLE. -squeals- And I love the whole inner sakura thing? SO FUNNY! XD Sasuku and Kakashi are well, the battles of the bishis. Hahah. Whee~

Speaking of naruto, I might be abandoning the whole L cosplay for EOY'06 [and postpone it to streetfest'07 where I might get a misa from gwen and a raito from someone (:] and join the Modified Naruto Anbu cosplay team instead. Gwen didn't want to do it alone. Hahah. And she recommended me to do.. anko? Okay, haven't gotten to her part but she looks cool. :D

I sketeched a Nodoka today from someone's negima manga. It turned out pretty good. Cute as she should be. Heheh. I love drawing from mangas. I remember doing a Yoh and Faust from Shaman King and it also truned out good. YEAH! (X But I still wanna do that awful cute chibi Negi. Heheh. :3

I have so much to do. So little time. -sounds familiar-

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

The month of birthdays

2006-07-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Mr Sam rocks. Hahah. At first he comes in all grumpy and stuff, then later into the day we just joke around and have fun. Whee.. I'm starting to love going for art six days a week and trying not to get sick of it. (X

Anyway, july, or rather mid july seems to be the hot time to poot some babies out. Check out the birthdays of just people I know man. Okay, starting from last week till today. Aye.. I know some of you aren't reading these short messages but well, wth. o_o'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY..

Jenny
Hey man, budding writer buddy. It was such a nice, though short time we spent together. YEAH to young authors in making but failed at the end due to procrastination and every other silly shits! XD

Nura
Another budding writer buddy and also my lit classmate. And also the violent boob attacker. AHH! -runs away- Hahah. Stay lovely and fun, dearie. Whoo.. X3

Cheryl
The screamy one. Hahah. We don't really talk much now but I suppose hi byes are enough to satisfy our friendship? Hah. Wth. -_-;

Gabriel
Hey dude. Joon's right, you really ARE a nice guy. Heheh. Thanks for inviting us to the party thing man. Whee.. :D

Gwendolyn
Fangirlster! Hahah. Yaoi is love. Bishis are love. Cosplay is love. YEAH! (X

Larry
Eh wait, we don't even talk. Hahah. But anyway, yea. Just being nice. :D

Geraldine
Woah. I only found out like late yesterday or something? Hm. Anyway, we've had fun and.. uh.. stubborn arguments? Hahah. -_-'

Wei Kang
Oi dude! We don't talk much now. =( Wait, you never do talk much. Hahah. o_o'

Rae
Ooh! Fourteen already leh! All grown up. XD Anyhoos, keep smiling and uh.. keep smiling and uh.. keep smiling and uh.. okay okay, keep rocking! Hahah. Whoo.. X3

-inserts exclamation marks and screams like mad-

OH YEAH! Now that that's done.. Toodley doos, me hearties! =D

*Evanesced*

quizness ten

2006-07-21T19:40:00.000+08:00

Well okay. I finally realized that I'm supposed to do this. Hahah. Eh, okay. So the tagging section down there means you gotta.. no wait, MUST do it if I put your name down and.. why am I saying this? Tsk. SHUT UP QIANYI. XD

Okay wait, I have to say this. MY BROTHER LOOKS DAMN COOL WITH HIS NEW HAIR! Look so much better now? ZOMG! He rebonded his fringe and all that. Urgsh. SO NICE! X3

Five things you associate with the word:

Long.
01 Hours doing up my coursework TT'
02 Time to EOY'06 XD
03 Nails I used to have :(
04 Days of emoness
05 Before the O's end. Tsk. -stabs it to death-

Love.
01 YAOI X3
02 Eye candies like.. umm.. MIYAVI! X3
03 Sweet stuff and edible candies X3
04 Good music :D
05 Money duh :D

Five things I want to own.
01 Truckloads of MON MONs!
02 A company (:
03 Tickets to Japan
04 A WHOLE LOAD OF TIME in my hands
05 I guess when you have money, you can own just about anything. So yea. o_o'

Tagging.
01 TTN! TTN!! TTN!!! I DON'T CARE!! YOU WILL HIGHLIGHT THIS AND PRESS CTRL 'C' THEN CTRL 'V' ON YOUR WHEREVER!! XD
02 Rachel teh siaoness. "P Since you seem to love these things. :D
03 Gwendolyn. I don't know why, just do it!
04 Diana :3
05 Nadiah. heheh.

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

I'm happy I'm sane

2006-07-21T18:58:00.000+08:00

It finally happened. I was expecting it, though not anticipating it. Oh well. Yea okay, SO my fault that it did eh? SO MY FAULT. Forever I am entirely wrong for the way I feel. Zrgh. Fuck all.

I could've seriously punched everybody's face in today? Nearly went insane. Clenching my fists like my nails are gonna get buried right through and make me bleed till I die. I think I felt a lot better after I like.. let go of some tears so ya know, whatever. Shit man. Was so.. embarrassing. Good thing I sit at the back and my fringe is uh.. able to cover my half of my eyes and when I look down, tada! Nobody can see anything. Tsk. Why am I indulging in this? -stabs-

And I'm pretty much happier now 'cause darling ttn sacrificed some time to talk to me and stuff. Very therapeutic. Heheh. Okay okay, thank you rachel dear for talking to me too. Although it wasn't really related but hey, as long as I feel.. attended to? Yea, I'm happy for that. Thanks yo! -huggles-

Today there was art. Tomorrow there is art. Monday there is art. Tuesday there is art. Wednesday there is art. Thursday there is art. Friday there is art. Saturday there is art. And the monday is THE day of passing up my coursework. I don't know whether I should be anticipating it or what 'cause I'm worried sick that I'm not gonna get things out on time. Really really hope I can. Must sleep less, slack less and paint more. :D

Mr Sam is such a nice dude. Hahah. (:

I can't believe he's sitting beside me again? This is sick. HE is sick. Sings all those jap songs so badly and thinks he is oh so smart and shits. Shut the shit up fucker. Don't make me stuff a pair of scissors down your fucking throat. Urgsh.

Why is it that my class is filled with smart asses who aren't actually smart? Who think that they are gonna pwn everybody's arses and.. I don't know. Results show, attitude shows, everything shows. You can't hide it. You see, here's the problem with a lot of people. They can't admit things that would hurt their ego. THEY JUST CAN'T. Not even to their friends or whatever. Chill man, nobody's gonna condemn you for whatever it is that you admit. Only idiots do that. Urgsh.

So okay, I shall admit something now. I admit that I was wrong for what I've said and done. That I deserve what has befallen upon me. I admit that I don't deserve your being nice to me or your friendship or whatever else. I admit that I should have talked about it with you guys personally instead of going behind backs and ranting about it. I admit that this is half my fault. HALF my fault. So are you something admit something as well? Unless you feel that it is better to resolve things through silence and shits. I don't mind actually. I mean, if that's what you think would be a better option. Zomg. Who cares what you do man. Sheesh.

I'm happy. I'm sane. I'm happy. I'm sane. I'm happy. I'm sane. I'm happy. I'm sane. I'm happy. I'm sane. I'm happy. I'm sane. I'm happy. I'm sane.

Or that's what I'm trying to be anyway.

-stabby rip stab stab-

*Evanesced*

I'm not crazy

2006-07-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

I figured that it was most probsly the hole PMS thing that's gotten into me for the past few days.

Today was bad as well. Sleeping in class [okay, i always do that so it doesn't count. hahah.] and I got shouted at by the penguin sir. Knn. He went like QIANYI! in his sudden loud noise shit that annoys me and was like CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE SOME RESPECT TO THE TEACHER? in a very loud way. Which yea, annoys me. Tsk. VE only what.

Some more went to call my reg no. ya know? I'm thinking he did that deliberately. To do some survey shit thing which I just took and crumpled it till I was feeling better to do it. Zrgh.

I wonder if I'm going crazy. Aye.. Doubt so. Because people who are crazy don't have a clue that they are. I tried to comfort myself by reciting "I'm not going crazy" in my mind till I'm pretty sure I'm not anymore. For now anyway.

Can't believe RHD is tomorrow. Kinda sucks. Just this tiny show thing in the morning then we have to resume lessons thereafter. OH MY GAWD. Go back to that class and suffer till I seriously go crazy. And my goodness. Hates going to the hall with the whole damn school. Stuffed and shits. So annoying.

I hope someone turns up in a kimono tomorrow. Hahah. Right. But seriously? It's getting REALLY REALLY SICKENING to see people, especially the chinese in some malay or indian wear. Bleah. Maybe I should bring a bucket of manure along and smack some into their faces.

OR, maybe I should bring a lighter along and burn the tails of people's clothes and stuffs. Woohoo..

Urgsh okay. Now I sound like some racial harmony hater.

Some people. SOME PEOPLE. Can't accept the truth. And when you tell them, they try to shut you up by blaming you for bringing down their confidence and shits and by literally telling you to do so. I mean, get a grip man. I know what happens after that. Ya know, people are all the same? You tell them something and they won't believe it at first. But they'll think. They'll wonder. Wonder if what's been said was worth believing. And then when they realize you have just spoken an ultimate truth, they shrivel up in guilt and self pity but never bothers to apologize in anyway for what they said to you and everything else. Always. ALWAYS about they themselves and them. Urgsh.

-slits wrists-

Urgsh. I think I could use a psychiatrist. Or perhaps just a good friend to talk to. ARGH. But why do they all keep disappearing? -bleeds to death-

*Evanesced*

Piss-o

2006-07-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

Okay, right. I'm pissed again. My goodness. I really hate my class. Wait, have I said that before? Oh my goodness. I DON'T CARE. I'm saying it again. I REALLY HATE MY CLASS. Bunch of stupid STUPID idiots. I'm so sorry, people. I'm so fucking sorry. I have to say that 'cause I can no longer keep it bottled for so bloody shittin' long.

My gawd. Urgsh. Social studies was so fucked up today. Like everybody is just being an ass and arguing about getting a higher fucking budget. And I'm like, whatever, think before you ever say anything can? Or NEVER say anything at all [which would be extremely feasible]. So anyway, there's this bit whereby the ministry of health and environment and the ministry of trade and development were arguing. DUHH. Land reclamation, is the latter's job [although they were so extremely oblivious to it initially]. And after you reclaim land, DON'T BE FUCKING SELFISH. Land reclamation is for EVERYONE. Meaning every other ministry that needs land to do stuff. You SHARE. You know what sharing is? Zrgh. So anyway, like MOH&E needs land to dump rubbish and all the shits so give it to them. Be nice, be allies. Here's the thing, ally with the right people. Not just because they're your friends or whatever. ZOMG.

If these people are seriously members of the cabinet of all these ministries, Singapore will DIE MAN! Wah lao eh. -stabs-

So anyway, after that was us, the peeps from home affairs. With a bunch of lazy free riders and blah. People ask and rebutt the silliest things. So this T&D minister comes telling us why we need 15% when we've always used 1%. WTF?! 1% for community service la, woman! Read properly can? ZOMG. That's not it. Okay, before that. There was a part when jw was speaking and I was all WTH? He kept stressing on the yellow ribbon project and it's so.. I don't know. We're supposed to be in 2010 planning for 2011. What's with the YRP movie and shits? ZOMG. Okay. Maybe he didn't realize since he was probsly reading off the paper. Urgh.

So yes, we got to the campaigns bit and this smart ass MOE person [no wait, they're all smart asses who aren't actually smart 'cause they are so full of themselves they think they're forever right and they think that taking 60% of the budget is extremely fair and every other ministry should go rot and die 'cause singapore only needs education to survive not realizing that without everything else, education would be pointless. fuckers.] comes telling us that educating the sg peeps about morals and crime fighting and all the shits is their job since education is under their cat. I'm like NO. We don't literally educate with like books or whatever. We INFLUENCE. We RAISE AWARENESS. Hello? Go get a proper education back in school man. Since it's under your ministry, you may even get it for free. Urgsh.

Like yea, I shall go no further. It frustrates me. ARGH. -shakes fist around-

I'm not a genius but at least I have my common sense/logic and a tad of intelligence to aid me. I'm SO GLAD for them. Keeps me from going stupid with all the rest. Tsk. I musn't be mean. -stabs-

Chinese class has become such a sickening place for me. I deliberately waited till dear mr peng comes into class before I bothered to leave. It's not my chinese teacher. It's.. wait, it IS my chinese teacher. Part of it anyway. She's nice and all but I just wish she wouldn't mix our names up? Not with... THAT PERSON. Argh. -stabs a gazillion times-And everything else I shall not say. Bleagh.

I should stop being so angry. Ain't healthy. Zrgh. -taps feet for a happy tune-

-attempts to smile-

..oh forget it. -_-'

*Evanesced*

Back in emo gear

2006-07-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry but I'm just fucking emo right now. I mean, upset. And angry. So yea, I don't think I should be apologizing 'cause it's the shit people get when they don't give a shit about how I might feel. Zrgh. -stabs them to death-

Yea well, I don't know how to say this but I'm quite sick of everything really. You guys just love to like make fun of almost everything I say. Or simply try to make fun of me. Or whatever. Ya know, like put me down till my ego drowns out beneath your silly horrid repulsive revolting appalling laughter. I don't even know why I'm around you people. You're making me feel horrible about myself and here's the big thing. Or one of them anyway. I would do a lot of things for you in a heart beat. But you? YOU?! You'll just be hesitant about a lot of it and I don't know. Ya know, like screw it. If you don't want to do it, DON'T. Just tell me right in the face that you're a lousy friend who is too lazy to be a friend at all when I'm like.. "in need" or something. Shit in yo faces dirtbags. -smacks-

And like I am seldom believed for what I say even though it's so true? Okay, I'm gonna take this clear CLEAR example. It's somebody else's things. And you took it. Fine. You used it. OKAY. You throw it around and you don't tidy it up. HELLO?! So what if it's not mine? It's my friend's! It's YOUR friend's! Just 'cause she probsly won't be using it anymore or whatever, doesn't mean you can like abuse it or something. Fuck. Why am I always around fucking self-centered people? My whole class is full of them. Not all, just a lot. Oh and I hate my class. Everytime I walk in, I'm like I hate this fucking class. And I'd use the back door 'cause I've lost all my respect for it already. Urgh.

You see what I mean? Going to school and pretending to like the way I am treated. Trying to get back at people but always pushed way back down. Pretending not to think so much about things 'cause nobody else bothers. Fucking shallow people duh.

Or maybe it's just me. Like maybe I should just go bleed to death now and ya know, make the world a better place. One less emo piece of shit who angsts about practically everything.

I know I need to sleep, but I can't bring myself to it. I know I should love my parents no matter what but it's really hard sometimes. I know home is where I belong, but it's engulfing me in it's flames of scalding fire.

Sometimes I don't think I should be in this rotten world. Urgsh.

Shit this and everything else.

*Evanesced*

Envy of death

2006-07-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

To no one in particular..

A person who spends his/her life envying others and forever feeling crappy about him/herself will never get anywhere. Sometimes it really helps to look at yourself positively [but realistically of course]and ya know.. do the usual optimistic positive shits. Okay never mind.

I was still pissed today [better now]. Not with yesterday's stuff, more with today's stuff. And I'm tired. And I'm worried about my coursework. And urgsh. I wish we can have this e learning for a whole week. How nice that woulda be. And anyone who hates it can just put their faces in their arse. Urgsh. Don't know how to embrace this wonderful no-need-to-go-to-school-ness. Yea, school is starting to become this place where I gotta pretend to be friends with people I don't like, pretend to be nice to people I don't even think deserve it, put up with all the ingrates and fuckers who are so oblivious to all of it. Zzrrgghh.. It's like this black abyss that's grabbing a hold of me and tightening it's grip. Tighter than my lil sister's jeans. Which looks good on me, by the way. Hahah. Whatever. -_-'

I'm obssessed with death note. I so love the people who put it up in english online. Don't have to go through the gruelling task of reading it in chinese. Urgsh. I realized that Ryuuku is so damn cute. Hahah. And I heard he likes apples. That's DOUBLE the CUTENESS. Hahah. ZOMG. Such a cute shinigami. :D Oh and Raito is so smart I can't believe it. My gawd. His calculations are so.. flawless. Nonetheless, L is THE LOVE. Hahah. Woots. :3

I love yaoi. I want yaoi. I need yaoi. Someone please give me yaoi. I mean, not like ya know. Yea, ya know. Okay fuck it. You know what I fucking mean. -_-;

-walks around and squats in random corners-

*Evanesced*

Piss Off

2006-07-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

I'm like.. fucking pissed fucking off right now. I hate this whole world. Urgsh. Full of shit arses. -stabby rip stab stab-

First off, the fucking e learning thing is so fucking lagging. Shit the whole damn thing. Must be 'cause so many fucking people are using it. Shitness. I think the school might have forgotten to consider that fucking problem. Urgsh. -stabs-

And like my fucking parents have been fucking pissing me fucking off for the past fucking few days and weeks. "DO YOUR HOMEWORK!" "STOP USING THE COMPUTER!" "SO LAZY!" "STOP SLEEPING!" blah blah blah. Fuckshit. Might as well tell me to not live right? I'm tired, therefore I sleep. I need to do my e learning and indulge in some therapy on the com. I'm lazy just 'cause I don't do things you are supposed to do? Okay fine, must train my responsibility and shits right? Fuck you. You have every kind of excuse to counter back at me just 'cause you're fucking adults and my fucking parents. Listen okay, you're my parents only because I don't have a choice. I think I'm better off not living with them ever and all I have to do is obligingly visit them twice or once a year.

But of course, I don't mind my brother 'cause he's mostly nice and understanding towards me. He defends me when my parents are like being an ass towards me. And he helps me shut them up. Urgsh. I hate this home. It's not just the nagging, it's everything else I will not divulge.

Ya know, when something goes wrong, I'm the one to blame. Especially that fucking mother of mine. FOREVER. It's NEVER her fault. It's always somebody else's fault. And usually, it's mine. PLUS, she's extremely suspiscious of whatever I'm doing. Especially on the com. Like she'd stick her face real close to the screen tryng to figure out what I'm doing, I coulda just smashed the mouse right into her bloody face. Or maybe I I should just have a knife on standby so that I can stab her till she's like.. oh never mind. And like, okay. I musn't say anything. I MUSN'T. It's like WRONG. Zrgh.

So yea, being at home with my parents around pisses me fucking off. Even being in school is pissy. Some people are so.. insensitive towards your feelings and ya know, are such.. ingrates. URGSH. It's both upsetting and pissy. Shall not delve into it. Fuckness.

Like yes. That's about the few things I wanted to say. I mean, everything is so pissy right now. Zrgh. Coulda explode any moment. -stabs- Anyway, I figured that IE server refuses to load the e learning shits. Only can use Opera. Urgh. So like, I'm done with physics, did the first bit of art, did task 1 of 2 for maths and urh.. read the VE thingy [which is dumb 'cause I don't dig the whole world cup thing], trying to do the ss if it decides to load up properly and well, yea. I hope to finish most of it today so that I can be.. free-er tomorrow. And we gotta go back to school again tomorrow to do our shittin' coursework. Oh man. Sucks. -stabby rip stab stab-

I need manga/anime therapy. Shit.

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

Crossing The Line

2006-07-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it's seriously important that you understand where the line is and when not to cross it. In fact, it is ALWAYS seriously important that you understand where the line is and NEVER to cross it. I won't blame you for what happened 'cause it wouldn't make much sense.But I do hope that you understand the severity of your actions. I will not divulge it or delve any deeper. But as a third party, I really hope that you can like acknowledge this.. sound advice I'm giving to you.

I can really just give it to gabriel. He keeps getting like.. "bullied" by the dudes in my class but he's never pissed about it. He just says that they're his friends and they're just having fun. I mean, in my case, friend or not, I'd get real pissed. Oh wells. o_o

Urgsh. I do wish that people would stop asking about the bird. It's.. like, dead and I really don't want it mentioned anymore okay? It's a depressing thing ya know. If not for you, for me. Just pretend that it's at the vet and recovering well. Zrgh. -stabs-

Having e learning for the next two days. So happy that we don't have to go to school. Oh my gawd! TWO DAYS! Woots. Hahah. But wait, Mr Sam wants to meet us tomorrow and like.. urgsh. Wtf. -_-;

The Used's 'On My Own' is so stuck in my head or whatever reason and I'm So craving for oysters/mussels thingies and cheesecake. Urgsh. -stabby rip stab stab-

-crawls off for manga/anime therapy-

*Evanesced*

Sinking in

2006-07-10T21:26:00.000+08:00

The whole COSFEST'06 thing is starting to sink in. Yea, post COSFEST blues. =( I miss it man. I miss, the cute kakashi, I miss that awesome team/group, I miss all the cute lolitas over there, I miss that jap-like girl/dude, I miss that bleach character, I miss those three uber tall people, I miss the lovely dolls, I miss all the anime merchandise there, I miss the very blue floor, I miss.. I miss.. I miss everything! Argsh. But never mind, I can still feast my eyes at sgcafe. Heheh. (:

Oh yea, I plan on cosplaying for EOY'06. Very keen on L from Death Note. Heheh. Since gwen's gonna be doing some Vampire Night character, I might as well go as something too. Hahah. I know I know, so cheapo to do L. But he's so cute I can't resist it! X3 Not that I'm saying that I'm cute but ya know. Plus, I'd probsly be.. vertically challenged? Since L is so effin' tall. Urgsh. -stabs-

And I saw the movie trailer today. He's actually played by that actor who played Shin from Nana The Movie. ZOMG! Looks damn cute in DN! -fangirls- Heheh. LOVE LOVE LOVE~ So anyway, since it's the o's year and all, I probsly wouldn't have time to go do up some elaborate costume and yes of course, L's outfit is cheap and simple. Mainly sloppiness. Hahah. I love sloppiness [hates messiness. got diff okay.]. Whoo la la. Excited! (X

Like it's six months away so yea.. Zrgh. Shit the exams.

Today I was like this.. doodle bear thing. Hahah. Drew on my hands and ankle areas. Hahah. Goes well with my nail polish, which I still refuse to bother removing. :3 Art session was spent mainly, I mean ALL, on the com in the art room. Hahah. Gwen and I were watching Gakuen Heaven and Inukami! in search of yaoi. I mean, for me, that's the case. I have high hopes for GH. Looks very yaoi-ish. WOOTS! X3 Still looking for that yaoi-ish shoot of sephiroth over the cloud in a purple dress from COSFEST'06. Urgsh. Where are you, photo? o_o

Oomph. I hope you won't be crawling away for sympathy again. Many things are better when faced head on. Unless, you really couldn't accept it. Or whatever. Well, I was probably a lil harsh but what the heck. It's not nice that people like you live in ignorance. Only makes the world a horrid place to live in. Oh wells. I shall say no further. :/

*Evanesced*

COSFEST'06

2006-07-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

I can't type COSFEST'06 without capitalizing it man. XD

So anyway, today was IT. But it was quite disappointing. Nonetheless, awesome. So yea, I expected a lot more than yea. Whatever. It was nice. Hm. Wth.

I shall try to be brief about it.

Met gwen and karyn at.. whatever place you call it. Somewhere near their houses. Then we took a bus to take a bus to pasir ris, where we oh-so-damn coincidentally met diana. Zrgh. And we took ANOTHER bus to downtown east. Yea, we go quite ahandful of stares along the way. Tsk. Rude people. Reached there and it was like.. raining. I mean, bits of raindrops. Urgsh. Sucks. Luckily it was in a tentage thingy.

But it was too small and there were too many people. So in the end, I took like so damn little pictures. Yea like if you want any, just go to sgcafe for 'em. Nicer also. ;)

So like we tried to walk through the crowdedness fangirling over all the bishis. Hahah. But karyn, being karyn, was being weird and was fangirling over a car from initial d which was disgustingly consuming a whole lot of space there. o_o

So blah blah blah ate VERY AWESOME Hershey's Sundae Pie at bk :D and diana left earlier. Walked round some more and ooh la la. I met esther. She didn't recognize me at first -stabs- but can't blame her 'cause it's been so very very long. Hahah. Still as pu-reh-teh as ever. :3 And that's it. Didn't make any new friends. Urgsh. :(

Had dinner at white sands' delifrance and I wanted to take nps 'cause it's been like SO LONG since my last ones but we couldn't find any and had to go home already. Like I had to take the train all the way back ALONE. Zrgh. I camwhored a bit on the train. Hahah. As discreetly as possible. Then camwhored like mad at home. Goodness. -stabs-

This man came to me and asked if I was japanese. Hahah. Cool. And said I looked like a ninja. Cool. :3 But wait, I was supposed to look.. punk or something. No wait, wth. I don't care. I just don't think I look like a ninja. -_-

Shall put up some pictures soon. When I feel like it. Heheh. (:

School tomorrow and I ain't cleaning off my polish [lazeh], my eyeliner is still like noticeably darkish, there's henna on my hand and like.. Urgsh. I can't be bothered to change my big noticeable stud to an ear stick so like I might be asking for detention or something. But I don't really care. Too lazy. Pft. -_-'

-walks around and disappears-

*Evanesced*

Cool cosplayers from various anime

2006-07-09T01:00:00.000+08:00

PICTURES! Heheh. :3

Ichimaru Gin is like so like CUTE X3

WTF. Are you sure this is a cosplayer? Looks like the sexy of sexiness man himself. O_O

Cloud Strife. The LOVELY AWESOME KILLER hair. ZOMG.

Tifa is like SO SEXEH and PRETTEH~ My gawd. And this girl is SO Tifa. Oomph.

I know I don't read or watch it but I can't help noticing Gaara. I mean, look at that. HOT HOT HOT! Argsh. X3

Okay. -recovers from fangirlism- My gawd. Gwendolyn, this is so.. therapeutic. Hahah. ZOMG. Thanks for the pics too. =D

-skips around and jumps in the air a few times-

*Evanesced*

Excel to nothing

2006-07-08T18:17:00.000+08:00

Today was SUCH A WASTE OF BLOODY TIME. People were even complaining that the SLC is corrupted and all and like the juniors were blaming the seniors for stuff. Which is senseless 'cause we've already stepped down and the fact that we came is already good enough okay. We could have just not come and leave you weeping. Urgsh.

So anyway, sze ying and I did the linkway which was tons of boringness. Okay, so we like ushered a few people but like.. urgh. Stupid. Such a waste of time just being there. Most of my time was spent walking around with selin. Urgsh. We still got to leave earlier in the end anyway.

Anyway, I got quite grossed out today. At first I was quite happy I didn't have to venture to the third floor. But well, too bad for me. Didn't see it coming. There was suddenly this period of time whereby this piece of shit was here and then there and then everywhere so that I can see it every few minutes/seconds. And it's seriously disgusting. My gawd. Bleagh. -barfs-

So like I think the whole open house thing just failed 'cause not a lot of people were around and the people mending the booths were so pre occupied with themselves. Urgsh. Stupid.

Oh whatever. The whole thing just sucked. Pft.

COSFEST'06 IS TOMORROW~ WOOT! X3

-hops off to watch some haruhi-

*Evanesced*

Hey you loser

2006-07-07T18:28:00.000+08:00

HEY, YOU ASSIN' FUCKER. LIKE YEA, READ THIS 'CAUSE IT'S FOR YOU. FINALLY FOR YOU. I'LL BET YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS HAVEN'T YOU. YOU JUST HAD TO PUSH IT YA KNOW. HAD TO. SUCK THIS UP YO. YOU'RE A POSER AND A LOSER AND A DESPO AND WELL, GET A LIFE 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE ONE YET. GO SCREW ALL THE GUYS YOU'RE FALLING HEAD OVER HEELS FOR AND MAYBE YOU COULD GET AIDS AND DIE AND MAKE THE WORLD THE HAPPIEST PLACE. SO HAPPY EVEN OSAMA WOULD GO MAKE OUT WITH PRES BUSH. DAMNIT. GO ROT AND BURN IN FUCKING HELL, SUCKER.

URGSH. -STABBY RIP STAB STAB-

Death in my hands

2006-07-07T18:03:00.000+08:00

Urgsh. Hateness. -stabs-

Okay anyway, gabriel brought an injured bird to class today. My gawd. So cute but so poor thing la. In the end, I met up with chris and we bought the bird to a vet. Or tried to anyway. Travelled all the way to serangoon and ended up at this place where they sell birds or something. So we showed the dude the bird and he like -tugs at the legs- and went, "si liao la [dead already]". I was like -confused- Then this other guy kept going "bei mao yao la [got bitten by a cat]". And the lil birdie just died in my hands la. Liquidish stuff came outta his beak and oh my gawd. Got so freaked out. It just.. died. I mean, it looked quite all right before but it just.. died. I guess I underestimated the severity of the injury. Urgsh. Dramatic moment. ='(

So we tried to bury it but decided it's immoral to go around digging holes. Therefore we left it under a tree and covered it with some dried leaves, hoping that no cat would come devour it or something. Urgsh. -stabs-

Then we went over to a stadium nearby and looked for a toilet so that we could get the stains off gabe's pe shirt. We ended up at the swimming complex. Hahah. And we sorta "begged" the life guard dude to let us use their toilet. So he was like "you want to be charged per entry or what?" And the both of us were all -stunned-. In the end he was just kidding la. Wth. -_-' Had a tough time washing. It was all -scrub scrub scrubness- until it all came off. Surprisingly. Hahah. Then we met the man again and he asked so we told him how we got it there and he was like when animals die, they give out something real toxic and chris and I were all -shocked- la. My goodness. O_O'

Tried looking around serangoon central for food but to no avail. Went to get a carrier for the wet shirt and the guy at the counter went like "20 cents" and I was -shocked- again and in the end, he was just kidding. ARGH. What is with these people?! I'm so innocent la. >_<

So we ended up in ps. Hahah. After that ended up in town. Zzrrgghh.. Where we met this fucking crazy guy while queueing. He suddenly shouted at us from behind going like "are you in the queue or not?!" Then don't know what else and he suddenly stomped beside us to the next queue saying something like "what the fuck!" and I was like "what the fuck?" and I think he heard and he like looked over at us with his menacing eyes. Fucker. Coulda dug them out. >=(

Yea, I mean we did get a bit scared but he was totally pissy la okay. Urgsh. -stabby rip stab stab-

So we, or more like I, ate and talked and took pictures and talked some more and all the other silly shits we do to entertain ourselves. Hahah. Decided to go to heeren and walked here walked there, walked round hmv and whatever. She sent me to the train station and left for taka. SO it was a journey back alone. -sigh- Kept thinking about the bird and how it "puked up" those shits. Urgsh. Horrid. ='(

Oh wells. Dead tired now. Aye.. Cosfest is in two days~ -anticipates-

-skips around-

*Evanesced*

When the fun goes on

2006-07-06T18:54:00.000+08:00

TMDKNNBCCB la! hahah. XD And I got the vulgarest name can? Chao Chee. ZOMG. TT'

I feel so happy. I mean, not THAT happy but happy all the same. Which is surprising la. I got my shirt with miyavi printed on it yo. As in, his picture ya know? -_- So yea, spent a few days trying to design it and my brother touched it up and he printed it out. Whee.. [he prints shirts. so like go visit white3.com if you're interested yo! (X] Then being me, I HAD to go sew on zippers. Hahah. And I so suck at sewing. Had to seek mother's help. Okay, I don't think it looks SUPER NICE but it's not that bad either. Quite okay la. Hm.

Cosfest is in.. uh.. two+ days? Whee~ But suddenly don't know why got so many people decided to go man. Karyn decided to go with us. Then joonwei and vicknes said they'd drop by with someone [whom I can't reveal]. I just think it's so weird la. I mean, it's not that many but ya know, usually, nobody would go and suddenly people I actually know and are from my school are going and it's just.. I don't know. o_o'

Hooboy. Art again this afternoon. It actually gets quite enjoyable when you have people to rant and angst about it with you. Hahah. Not that I hate art but the long hours are just.. gruelling and horrid. _-_ But okay, most of the time was spent on the com we "revived" and gwen and I tried helping selin with photoshop but in the end she says she's gonna drop the subject and like.. urgsh. A lot of people drop ya know. I think she's somewhere around the fifth already. Mr Sam's gonna cry man. o_o

And one thing [perhaps the only thing] I like about the coming ExCEL Fest is that it occupies Mr Sam and lets him spend less time with us. Which is to our relief 'cause we'd get all nervous when we see him. Hahah. Argsh. We're gonna do that ink booth again. No more portrait drawing and money involved. Just print making and chinese ink. Man.. I hope it turns out okay. :

Urgsh. I will not dwell on certain things anymore. I'm happy with what I'm doing now, happy with where I am now. Okay, more of satisfied. I don't have much of a choice anyway. I think I made the right decision and said the right words and ya know, I don't think I brought it too far. So yea. What the hell am I saying. -_-;

Shirley chong actually looks nice in her rebonded and dyed hair. So much better than the last time la. And I'm beginning to feel that she's quite nice and fun to have as a teacher. Hahah. Woots. (X

-skips around-

*Evanesced*

Unofficial step down

2006-07-04T19:27:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU FUCKERS

I'm gonna step down, even if it's unofficial. I don't care. What the fuck has happened anyway? It used to be better than this. Now it's all lack of discipline and respect everyfuckingwhere. I thought that perhaps I should be nice and go till saturday 'cause I might be needed. Turns out I'm not so whatever. I'd rather spend hours in the art room than go to that fucking place and see all your silly fucking faces.

Stop thinking that you're so awesome and so great and so THE BEST. 'cause you're not. Theatre is not all play and no seriousness. In fact, it's full of the latter. And apparently, you don't have much of it and thus, that does not qualify you fuckers as theatre artists. Not even practicing ones 'cause you don't deserve it. All you care about is yourself and all you listen to is yourself. You think you're so ALMIGHTY 'cause some people decided to shower you a drizzle of praises. Don't be complacent you fuckholes. Just 'cause there seems to be more people now doesn't mean it's better. In fact, it's taking a turn for the worse.

What? You think it's easily gonna be bronze, silver then a fucking gold? Dream fucking on. With this kinda attitude you have now, I'd die of shock if you even get a certificate of participation. Come on man, this is the school with a niche in the performing arts. Don't pull yourselves down with this gazillion amount of shame. Or for once, think about the school. Where do you think the money comes from? School cheapo? Pay yourself la. Fucking shit. Do something for them to show your gratitude can? Stop being such self centered fuckholes.

Ya okay, I'm jealous that I don't have anything to do in this pathetic little event right? Fuck that. I'm speaking the truth and if you can't even suck that up and accept it, then shut the whole damn thing down and go rot and burn in the fucking depths of fucking hell. Today was IT. I can't stand it anymore. Maybe I'm just like PMSing or something but seriously, looking at the whole sitch right now just makes me fucking sick everyfuckingwhere.

Think about it okay. Take a good look at yourselves. Good instructors can do nuts if you're not up to it. Don't blame them. They're just there to devise things with you and to guide you along. The rest is up to you. But with this kinda bloody we-are-so-the-bloody-greatest-and-we-don't-care-about-what-others-say-'cause-we're-so-full-of-ourselves-etc. attitude, you'd go nofuckingwhere. Probably down a black abyss where you'd grind your teeth and cry tears of black blood for eternity.

Urgsh. I'm sorry, I really had to let that out. Zzrrgghh..

-stabby rip stab stab-

*Evanesced*

quizness nine

2006-07-03T16:47:00.000+08:00

3 names i go by:=> kyuwai, xlb, bitch [zomg]

3 parts of my heritage:=> ability to fly, blow things up and control people's minds till they shrivel up and die [eh ttn, i also don't really know what this is about XD]

3 of my everyday essentials:=> sweet stuff, music, space

3 things that I am wearing now:=> scales, claws, wings

3 of my fave musical artists now:=> MIYAVI MIYAVI MIYAVI! hahah. okay whatever.

3 things you want in a relationship other than love:=> mutual shits, trust, sex and umm.. oh wait, only 3 ah?

3 truths and 2 lies:=> caramel makes the world go round, werther's original is good, i always get the last laugh [hm]. i have semen coming outta me [zomg], i love raw onions [yuech].

.3 physical things about the opposite sex that attracts you?=> looks duh, common interests, urh.. size? (:

3 of your fave hobbies:=> angsting, flying, killing people

3 things that you want badly now:=> sex.. urgsh. right. urh.. chocolate, another month of vacation, and everything else i want badly now.

3 places you wanna go on vacation:=> JAPAN! and some other nice places

3 things you want to try doing:=> sex [zomg], being really nice for a day [yea right], take a tour round the moon and scout for cheese

3 people i would like to see taking this test:=> NOBODY!! NOBODY MUST DO THIS!! I SAY, NOBODEEEE!!!!!! right. do it if you wanna.

3 things i look for in a potential boyfriend:=> ain't this like that question somewhere above or something?

3 things i may want to be in the future:=> hooker, assasin, manga ka, seiyuu and urh.. wait, 3 only ah?

*Evanesced*

Under the hot blasted sun

2006-07-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

Damnit. I'm red [literally] and burnt and urgh. I'm gonna turn black [not literally] again. Urgsh. Just hope it doesn't turn ugly. TT

So yea, went for syf today. Skipped bio 'cause I wanted to sleep in longer. Hahah. :x I had this super embarrassing moment la. Somebody requested for a skirt 'cause they're not allowed to wear fbt [probsly afraid it'd attract unnecessary attention or something] and yea. So kua asked me if I was wearing shorts and I was like ya and asked if I could lend them my skirt. So I took it out and because my shirt was so.. oversized [they didn't have anymore s sizes TT], it covered the whole of my fbt, making it look like I'm not wearing any pants. Fuck. In addition to that, ms foo walked by and was all "what are you doing?! -shocked-" and I was all ZOMG!! -stabby rip stab stab- In the end, WE are not allowed to wear fbts either so I had to put it back on and whatever la okay. Fucking shit. -_-;

So we waited quite awhile [should have showered longer _-_] and finally we could leave for the stadium. But even at the stadium, we had to wait real long and I was just feeling so burnt la. Not hot, BURNT. As in burning till really hot kind. And you don't perspire much to keep you cool and it's horrid. Both are horrid okay. Plus there's this strong wind which only helps mess up my hair. ZRGH. Frustration. Just sat there and waited and watched the choir sing and all that. Shun wai [whom they read as wai shun. wth.] got the best drum major award and tk got the display band of the year thingy. I mean, they were good. And our school was well, loud. Bowen still rocks 'cause female drum majors are THE hotness. Hahah. I don't know, didn't get to see her face to determine if she's really pretty not. But woah, love the way she throws the mace around. I mean, female leh. Girl power! Hahah. Whatever.

Man, I heard that tk has now won the display band of the year thingy for six consecutive years. Impressive huh? Hahah. So everything else went on and urgsh. Nostalgia of ndp two years ago. Man, when I was still a little sec two, training in the hot sun on the battered field. -sigh-

After that, me, chris, alycia, mel, jas, and jas [okay fine. kua.] went for dinner at suntec. Man.. They walk so fast. But good thing too 'cause chris and I got to spend some quality time together. Hahah. Been so long. Like our busyness and all keeps us apart. =( Ate at pastamania and it was just SO DAMN FUNNY. XD Shall not elaborate la. We just kept laughing and laughing till our sides hurt. Hahah. And chris wouldn't eat her food. Arrhh.. XD Plus, we saw this zhiyang guy from campus superstar or whatever. I didn't recognize him duh, since I didn't even watch the damn thing. So yea, they planned on taking his picture but in the end he just left. Urgsh. Stupid la. -_-;

Met cris and we walked round and made up a whole load of bloody lame jokes from shop names and all. ZOMG. XD Even on the train we kept going on and on. I think everybody was like staring at us, wondering if we are seriously so no life. Hahah.

Man, I'm so spent but I don't wanna sleep. And I haven't bathed 'cause I got engrossed in this chinese ghost show. Quite interesting la. But kinda predictable and weird. Oh wells. Maybe I should stay up all night. Ya see, I'm the kind of person who can't exactly sleep at night but has a high tendency of doing so during classes and shits. Making me mostly tired. Bloody shit. Hahah.

Oh wells. Off now. TOODLEY DOOS! (X

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

Losing my grip

2006-06-30T21:37:00.000+08:00

This sucks. Firstly, I don't get adults. Why try so hard to teach us moral values when you don't have much of them in the first place? Maybe it's time to take a step back, have a good look at yourself and see what needs to be corrected before trying to correct us young people 'cause we were probably never much wrong in the first place. Sheesh.

Secondly, some people are just so bloody hard to.. talk to. I don't know if it's me or what la okay. But first, I'd just like to say this. I've changed from some mean fuck who is extremely unforgiving and impatient to someone more.. improved. For the better of course. I was quite happy with this change at first, 'cause it means I've matured. Or something. But it's hard being that. Hard to keep up with being nice to people, being patient with them and all that shit. There are some of those who'd give you that fucked up look that kinda tells you to go away and not to annoy him/her when all you are is concerned. I mean, it seriously pisses me off at first but then later, I'd get upset. It's like that one look sends a bullet right through my flesh and it gets stuck in my tissues until I stick my fingers in to pull it out. I'm mostly upset 'cause I'd feel very very estremely rejected and rejection hurts me a lot. Fuck. At least ya know, say something like you're all right even if you're not and I'd get the hint that you don't wanna talk about it. I'm perfectly cool with it you know. I can't go around expecting people to share their problems with me so openly or whatever. And I'm not shittin' nosey like some people so rest assured. Just don't, you know, DON'T ever give me that look. Or dismiss me with your cold fucking indifference. I don't usually take those well. Urgsh.

I'm just gonna go on about today for now. That hoon hoon is taking us for poa twice a week. Honestly, I'd much prefer luah luah back in class. I mean, her teaching is quite all right but her face makes me sick. Not just her face, but from head to toe.. it's sheer sickness. So I'd usually just look out of the class or stare at my notes and listen instead of looking at her. Urghness. This brings me to another sitch. To whom it may concern: I WILL NEVER CHANGE MY SEAT WITH ANYFUCKINGONE. Don't even consider it okay. Honestly speaking, I don't really care what's happening between them. I don't think it's any of my business and I don't think any one of them wants me to make it that way. I don't think I even want to have it that way 'cause seriously.. urgh. Call me cold if you want but some things are better understood by people like me. Besides, I love where I'm sitting anyway. Nearest [though a bit of a distance away] to the door, a nice breeze blowing at me [one that doesn't mess my hair up], all alone, away from those horridly disgusting people, from the mess, from the shittin' stink of post-p.e. Basically, I'm isolated from the class but am actually quite happy about it.

Drama after school. At first I was stuck in art class fangirling [in a way anyway] with gwen. Urgsh. Then decided to go and well, I didn't have anything to do. Which I was anticipating 'cause I just went there to slack and shits. But urgsh, idiot sec ones are such fucking idiots. So they were sent downstairs to get money to get the shittin' logistics stuff but they were taking quite long and they were just sitting outside the staffroom so I decided to go find out what the hell's going on and when I got down, they were walking outta the school already. I caught up and eventually tagged along in case they screw up which I am quite sure they would have. Bought the stuff and well, I don't think they even know what kinda paint to get ya know. I was asking them like about the paint and they were just all confused and shits. So yea, I tried to look for 'em big bottles of poster paint but apparently, it's only available in major artsy places like art friend. So yea, ended up with spray paint. Which I was doubtful of so I called rachel to confirm whether spray paint works on styrofoam since she's so experienced. Hahah. Appears that she's not that sure either but what the heck, bought it anyway.

So I came back pretty spent and couldn't be bothered to check out what's been going on with the other arses. Sheesh. Anyway, I don't think us sec fours should be trying to take charge of their performances. 'cause afterall, we're supposed to be stepping down and we should only be there to help and guide them when they are desperate and all. I don't think it's nice that we have one sec four directing them everything, telling them what to do and they just respond and do what they're told. Sec threes perhaps, should be doing the big things instead. It's like they'd die without us like that can. Maybe la, but I don't know. They'd have to figure out a way to survive anyway. That's how life goes yo.

And I happen to think that engie is nice. Not REALLY nice like I love her to bits and pieces kind but nice as in I don't hate her and I don't beg and pray for crothers to come back and to have her fired or whatever. I think that most of the people, if not everyone, who don't like her just can't suck it up and accept what she's like and the way she criticizes and the way she's professional and the way she like.. does things. For me, I quite like her style. Her way of being really serious about serious stuff. Her dominating-without-shame attitude. Her gets-rid-of-something-that-doesn't-work-in-a-heartbeat-seeing-the-urgency way. Yea, I'm actually quite happy she took the acting group out. I mean, she's right, it won't work. It's just so.. quite wrong for what we're doing. Wrong as in ya know, doesn't fit and all. Oh wells. I know the rest of the group has WORKED REALLY HARD for it but too bad ain't it? Sheesh. I should stop being so sarcastic. So even though acting was all I was ever looking forward to, I'm still happy I'm just gonna be doing a bunch of signs. Spray painting on styrofoam. Cool. Oh man, my coursework! -angsts-

After saturday next week, which is the ExCEL Fest, I can suang suang step down and enjoy myself at cosfest the next day. Although neither of them have are related to each other but well.. I'm excited about cosfest la. Can't wait to see gwen in her GL gear also. Hahah. Whee..

All right man, I'm actually feeling a lil bit better from my shitty feeling just now. Blogging therapy huh? Oh wells. Whatever.

I've become extremely attached to my WMA player [apparently, it has turned anti-mp3], especially after I dug out a pair of both-sides-working earphones. Oh, and I love Werther's Original. Butterscotchness.

Bio remedial, more artness and SYF tomorrow. Zzrrgghh..

*Evanesced*

The singing people

2006-06-25T18:55:00.000+08:00

In a moment of randomness.

kyuwai: wanna pon school tomorrow?
nas: why?
kyuwai: dunno. for fun.

Arrhh.. XD

Man. This sucks. I'm like so like dreading like school like yea like urgsh. -eff-

Church was interesting today. There's this lady beside who sings like.. SO HIGH. I don't know how she does it, she just does. There's this responsorial psalm singer who has this real strong filipino accent and I was all -raises eyebrows- at what the hell she was singing. There's this couple in front of me. Okay, so the girl was touching the guy's butt and like.. hokayyee.. Then later touches his shoulders and like lets her hand travel down his back and she reaches into his shirt and urgsh. I tried to look away as much as possible. I mean, it's a church for christ's sake [no pun intended].

And yea, in the car brother suddenly went, o rly? ya rly. no wai! r u trippin'? quite rly. in this -i-can't-classify-now accent. Goodness. And I thought I was random. XD

The tune for 'god has chosen me[?]' is stuck in my head and I like chen wei lian. Urgsh.

-walks around and disappears-

*Evanesced*

The shield

2006-06-24T16:16:00.000+08:00

ZOMGBBQ. My fringe! Arrhh.. Shit. Suddenly so.. short [went for a trim at it]. Okay, not the shitty above eyebrows kind. But either ways, it's kinda quite weird. A lil bit.. high. o_o;

KNN. School is in two days [and cosfest 06 is in two weeks -random-]. I didn't sketch anything yesterday and I haven't studied a single fucking subject. Life is so fucked up for me now. I seriously wonder how I'm gonna make ammendments. Study after every school day or something. And juggle between other shits as well. Urgsh.

How I wish I coulda have another week of hols or two perhaps. Then I can finish my coursework and have one whole week to myself to study and wake up real late. And do other stuffs duh. But reality ain't gonna give me that. So oh wells. =(

Yea so like, I don't know why I'm blogging right now. Maybe 'cause school's starting soon and I'd be too depressed to ever blog again so like.. yea. Whatever. _-_

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

The new bond

2006-06-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

Hooboy. art art ART ARTNESS. So much of art I'm gonna go crazeh soon. Urgsh. Started on my first piece of acrylic today. Didn't finish it but well, nine more to go la. Good thing I'm doing repeats, else I'm dead already. Sheesh. All my fault for procrastinating so much. I needa finish up all my sketches this weekend else I'd be smacking myself silly and upside down. Zzrrgghh.. T_T'

Everything needsa be submitted by friday next week. Sam(antha)[we figured he needed something more feminine sounding. hahah.] is so.. cruel. Hahah. Right. Oh well, hopefully I get it done. And I have this bad/good feeling that a lot of people are dropping art. Like, refuse to turn up to finish up the coursework. Tsk. Losers. :/

So anyways, we left early yesterday. :x Diana, nas, gwen and I. Nas was going to some sg idol show thingy [urgh] and diana, gwen and I went to town to get some stuff. For me la mostly. Heheh. So pretteh. I guess for certain cases, you gotta find the right place to buy stuff. Else you're gonna be spending like.. a bomb instead. Whee.. Diana left for her bbq thingy and gwen and I had dinner. Whee.. The two jappy crazed fangirlish peeps. Hahah.

Man.. I got down to reading witch dreams and finished it in like.. a few days. Hahah. Hookedness. To me, it's very interesting and very nice. Heheh. Nice twist at the end. Like, it shocks the readers but not the people in it. So yea.. Don't know how to say la. -_- Anyway, nice book. Umm.. Yea, nice book.

Stinkin' prelims in august I heard. You know, I know I've said this before but I really hate being sec four. The bad stuff outweigh the good stuff. Sure, feel of a really high seniority but like there's also the intimidating sec fives. And you have all this shit things like o levels and shits la huh. Fuck man. How I wish I was back when I was going, oh no, streaming at the end of the year! Or better yet, PSLE coming soon leh! Hahah. Whatever. I don't even know where to go after my o's man. Laselle sia or what but abit.. I don't know how to say. Oh wells. :( I envy the sec threes. Almost there but not there. THE best feeling ever. Hahah. Right.

Oh well, oh wells. Better be going now. I needa finish up some sketches tonight too. I won't give up man. Ain't droppin' nothin'. It'd just go to show how much of a loser I am, which I know I am not [stop laughing, you shitty poopoos]. What's more, it'd make me feel like a qualified practicing artist. Somehow. Hahah. Whoo.. (X

-skips around and disappears-

*Evanesced*

The song of touching

2006-06-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

My goodness. Diana and I are going crazy with the darkness' i believe in a thing called love'. Hahah. touching YOOOUUUU..!!! touching MEEEE..!!! -screams the rest- ARRRHHH... XDXD

Oh yes, she and selin couldn't stop laughing about the muah chee joke. ZOMGBBQ. Was it so funneh? Hmm.. Okay it was. XD

I say, going back for art can actually be interesting. Whoo..

Cosfest 2006 is in three weeks LEHS! So exciting la. (X Have asked diana, szeying and gwen and they all wanted to go too. Whee.. And gwen's cosplaying for EOY. Must go and support her. GO GIRL! And don't lose your way. :D

I wonder if I actually like urh.. like him [which i'm doubting]. 'cause it's freaky the way I can't get him off my mind. Sheesh. I'd better stop this. It'll make me go mad. I don't even think he remembers me man. o_o'

-walks away pondering-

*Evanesced

The chicken was good

2006-06-18T02:02:00.000+08:00

Ya know, it merely seemed like an okay day just now. But now that I look back at it, it's really REALLY AWESOME. =D

I'm starting to talk to random people on msn. Hahah. Like, this morning I suddenly went to talk to yeejia. 'cause she was on my list and I figured I ain't talked to her before so I just decided to. Arrhh.. Randomness. Was talking about how we couldn't cook. Hahah. That we'd kill each other with our cooking and shits. Zzrrgghh.. so dumb. XD

Then I had to rush to meet nas. Hahah. But she was late so like.. well. Took a really long bus ride to this parkway parade place where we walked around for a bit while waiting for karyn. That place is like some.. labyrinth. Complicatedness. Then we bought some auntie anne's pretzels which rocked. Hahah. Caramel is LOVE~ X3

Met up and managed to find our way to east coast. Walked around. ALOT. Basically, we got lost la huh. Walked here and there, kept calling people. Hahah. I think we walked for about an hour or so? Man. It even got dark. Then finally, FINALLY, after deciding on a direction and walking pass thirty over pits later, we found them. Sheesh. _-_

Chris and I wanted to give her the present we bought her, but being people who refuse to do something without doing something else, we decided to rehearse some lines to say. Like co-ordinated a bit here and there. But when we went up to her, nervousness got the better of us and we just screwed up la. Hahah. So funneh. XD After that nas, karyn and I just sat around being really anti-social and shits. Hahah.

I got a lil bored so I decided to go walk around and rachel joined me. Hahah. So we just walked and talked and walked and talked some more. Headed back and had some food before going for another walk. And this time, ms jt did the same thing again. Grabbed me from behind and like.. hahah. Shockness. 0_0' So we walked and talked and walked and talked some more. Hahah. Wth. Walked all the way to this chalet place cause she wanted to visit the pee parlor. She opened the gift and well, she really really liked it. Which is good la of course. =D And she said her table in one of her offices had the stuffs we gave her on it. SO SWEET RIGHT!! (X

Yea anyway, got myself a drink and waited for her to do some other stuffs as well. Heheh. Then we walked back and I couldn't re-unite with nas and karyn 'cause they sorta disappeared. But we managed to later on so yea. Felt so bad pang sehing them man. =(

And we ate some more. Hahah. The chicken was really REALLY good. Wasn't burnt like always. And t'was juicy and tender. Real nice. Heheh. Ms joey offered us otah yo! Hahah. I felt weird 'cause I didn't think she'd know us. Or ME. She knew my name la. Weirdness. But later I figured that she might have taught my class before. Science or something. o_o'

So yea, we just anti-socialed some more and they left for macs cause they wanted to watch the world cup which I wasn't like into or whatever. So we parted =( and I went off to try teaching chris how to.. ride a bike. XD So cute la. Alycia, jia jun and I were trying to help her balance and all that then we'd be like all excited when she managed to pedal for a bit. Don't give up ttn! Ke yi zhuo dao de! =D

Then jas [am really REALLY HAPPY that we're talking again yo (X] and szeying came and they realized they had to return the bikes so we rode back. Man.. I'm seriously getting better at it. Even though I haven't rode one in so long. And guess what? They had to pay 19 bucks more just 'cause they were 45 mins late. Damnit man. For two single riders and one double rider. Sheesh.

After that we scramed and tried looking for an appropriate bus stop. Figured that the last buses we could take were all gone. So took a bus to bishan and planned on walking home. Hahah. Camwhored like crazy on the bus la. I'm still waiting for the pics from chris. Whee.. Maybe I'll post some up soon. Alycia said I'd scare the people on the streets with my psuedo emo hair [okay, not exactly psuedo but well]. Hahah. Wth man. Who'd get scared by a petite framed lil innocent girl such as yours truly huh? (:

So I got home and received messages from alycia and szeying asking if I was home safely. Hahah. Probably not just me la. Such kind souls they are. (= Anyway, I figured that sg got very minimal nightlife one la. Public transport services end so early and shops close even earlier. Sheeshness.

Brother and father were still awake so we cut the former's birthday cake and had a lil celebration. Mostly taking photos la. I couldn't stop camwhoring. Hahah. :x Took more pictures of emo hairness. Man. Emoness + punkness is rocksorz. Hahah. Whee.. But I realized that that paul guy from that sg idol thingy is like making it famous already. Which kinda sucks cause people will be like hey, you look like paul or whatever which sucks even more 'cause ya know. It's gonna be called the paul hair soon I presume. But anyway, I like paul. Hahah. Irony. I like the fact that he wears eyeliner. Boys in eyeliner are just oh so sexeh la [with some exceptions duh] X3

So yea, lovely day. Can keep me sustained for a few days I'm sure. Whoo.. I don't even wanna think about feeling empty later on man. Shall just be happy now. (X

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

The Art Room

2006-06-16T21:57:00.000+08:00

Mann.. I need like this weekend to be anywhere but the art room. Oh gawd. My whole entire week has been revolving round there and it's so.. I don't know. It's almost always the same thing. Step in, music playing, sit down and slack. Then you start drawing when you feel like it or when mr sam's around. I don't know, he merely appears occasionally. Such a busy man. Hahah. Okay wait, he's like ill and shits. Oh well.

My coursework looks.. okay. I haven't started the final thing yet. Like the painting and shits. But the sketches are almost.. there. I mean, to me at least. Mr sam says I gotta need loads more development. -sigh- I'm trying okay. I don't think I've ever been so absorbed in art before. Like almost literally. And it's not like I want it either [aside from the fact that i chose the aubject but oh wth]. Well.. I guess I'm starting to enjoy it. Heheh.

So yea, enough about that shit. I'm back online, in case you haven't noticed my absence for the past few days. Yea, avoided messenger and blogging altogether. I was actually.. tired and lazy. And no mood la. I can't exactly say I'm sad or what 'cause I'm not. I guess I've just been pretending a bit too much. Especially today when some people put me down. Hey, I know it was like this trivial joke but ya know, I couldn't help but take it to heart and shits. Man.. But eventually I just laughed it off and we all did and well, I guess I could pretend some more. Afterall, I've lived a lot of my life pretending.

I keep thinking, wouldn't the world be so much happier is everyone did things for other people instead of themselves? One way or another, people would do things for them and eventually everyone would be happy, doncha think? I don't know. I guess they really are too afraid that they might not get what they want or that they kindness would not be repaid. But I think that giving to someone, be it emotionally or whatever, is like a sorta gift, ya know? You have it in you and that's enough repaying done. Like you shouldn't expect things in return. It only means you weren't really genuine about it. Yea okay whatever. I should just shut up now. _-_

But as cliched as something might sound, it's bound to have some kinda deeper side to it, huh?

James gave me a call this morning. Hahah. I had to mention it 'cause it's like the highlight of my day. So.. sudden. He asked if I was free for movie 'cause he can't stand being home all day. But I was real broke and I had to be in school so yea. We just talked for a bit. He kept wanting to to resolve things with someone. And I just.. I don't know. I'd do things for people if they asked but this is just.. far too uh.. personal for me. Like telling me to do something to make you happy, sure. But in the end, I'm not. Yea, quite selfish of me huh? But this I'm sure would make me really uncomfortable and all that so like yea. Besides, he ain't resolving things with someone else so we're equal. Hahah. Maybe he'll understand my sitch as he understands his? Oh well. I can't blame him though. It's not nice seeing two of your friends not getting along or shits.

Another thing I learned. Besides doing things for other people. I'm thinking that maybe if everyone could think deeper into things, we'd seriously all be a lot better off. Stop just listening to yourself. Stop in your tracks and take a look around. What's affecting you? Why are some things happening the way they are? Stuff like that. 'em great scientists didn't come up with theories based on self experiences and shits. They take a look around and drew it all up. Urrsshh.. What am I saying la. _-_

Brother's turning 21 tomorrow but I'm abandoning him for a bbq ms jt organized. Oh man.. Horrible me. And mother has an appointment. And dad has to work at night tomorrow. I hope he finds his friends. Shit man. Well, at least I bought a prezzie for him. Some fma figurine. Heheh. Like, I'm at his table using the lappy again so when I look up, I can like see two rows of figurines in the display case on the shelf. Hahah. Top row filled with six girls from negima and the bottom all the gashapon one. I think it's one of his proudest collections. Hahah. Man.. that's what's so great about having a bro like mine. Shares your interests. (=

Damn. The bbq tomorrow. I heard about thirty or so peeps are going. To gather and relax before the o's or whatever. Like.. that's really curious. I don't know. In a way, I just feel it is. Really curious. Hm.

Well, should probably be off now. I can keep going on and on but that wouldn't be.. nice, now would it? Hahah.

Kissy poos, me hearties.

*Evanesced*

Free Lance And The Lake Of Skulls

2006-06-11T17:23:00.000+08:00

Oh gawd. I hate myself for forgetting that there's streetfest today. Man oh man. -stabs-

Oh well. T_T

I'm on brother's lappy again. PWNZORX~ X)

I FINALLY got down to clearing out and tidying up my wardrobe yesterday. Man.. Who knew I had so much junk in there. Sheeshness. I even found m primary school uniform la. Hahah. Tried it on but well, was too small already. Must be the boobs factor. (:

So yea, now it's neat and tidy and in color order. Coolness eh? White, yellow, orange, pink, red, green, blue, black etc. Woohoohoo. So proud of myself man. X3

I watched The Omen yesterday. Ain't exactly scary, more of evil and sudden shits that startle you. Hahah. Should go watch it if you get the chance. Not bad, not bad at all. ;) And I love love LOVE the lil boy, Damien. Man.. He had pretty blue eyes, pretty black/brown hair and cute fat cheeks. Arrh.. (X

And I also finally got down to reading a second library book. Free Lance And The Lake Of Skulls. Quite short actually. Love the illustrations. Pretty nice storyline too. Although I had expected more fights and shits to happen at the lake of skulls, but oh well, lovely all the same. :D

Ooh ooh! I bought hairspray. (: Okay, but I don't know what to use it for. -_- As a fixative perhaps? Or try to style my shittin' hair with it. Or something la. And I wanted to buy some metal chain too. But they were out, so yea. If I did get it, I would have two things I don't know what to use for. Hahah. Wth. _-_

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMGBBQ!!!! Guess who's in town yo? X3

JAMIE CULLUM!! X3

-screams and faints a million times-

Shit man. SOMEBODY BRING ME TO HIS CONCERT PLEASE. :D

Like, I was alone in my room yesterday night and everything was so silent. Then I played his twentysomething on the player and oh my gad. I figured I'd never get sick of it. Shit shit SHIT. Jamie Cullum is love love LOVE!!

Wooteedoo (X

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

On the lappy

2006-06-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

Damnit damnit DAMNIT. Shit shit SHIT. -stabs-

I'm on brother's lappy now and it's like pwnzorx all over yo! The wireless mouse fits so bloody nicely in my palm and fingers. The screen, though small, is so.. NICE! Like.. so smooth and everything's so sharp and shits. Arrhhh.. And I like the keys too. Quite crammed up but it's so nice to like press and shits. Man.. And I really need to get used to xp. Zrgh. -enviousness- TT

Half the hols are gone. Man.. gone, like yesterday is gone. like history is gone. -sings in a melodramatic fashion-

Why are some people so indifferent sometimes? Heck, I'm that way sometimes too anyway. Oh well. -sigh- =(

*Evanesced*

New cool air

2006-06-08T20:14:00.000+08:00

NEW AIR-CONDITIONERRHHH~!! -sings- X3

Urgh, goodness. -trivialness-

Yea, so for the whole afternoon I was just on the com, sampling gazillions of music/songs/whatever and trying not to breathe in the rancid stench of 'em workers. Yuech. T'was real horrible, indeed. -pinches nose and shakes head-

Played a few games of warcraft and got so pissed 'cause the computer enemy just HAD to build its units so quick and level up its heroes like so rapidlyness. -effness- Yea, so basically I depended solely of melee 'cause I forgot about how to use all the spells and shits and I was too lazy to go find out how to. T_T'

Yea, so brother came back and we watched The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya on his lappy. Weird show, but not too bad. Whee.. (X

I wanna watch Kino's Travels. Whoohoohoo.. Soon, very soon indeed. (:

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

Happy Material

2006-06-07T17:33:00.000+08:00

Whee.. go listen to all the versions of happy material. Awesomeness. :D

Aye.. yesterday was a considerably happeh day. I was just the usual sad and lonely soul at first until kind-o Rachel came to talk to me. And I don't think we've ever exchanged like more than ten words before. Hahah. So yea, it was good company for the remaining hours. X) We even had a war on the shittin' white board. -_-; Hahah. ~puii nehhz~ I almost got ying square okay. XD

I'm like in this acting group for excel day which I don't know if I'm going for. Well, basically I like acting so yea.. I don't mind doing it. wth. _-_ And apparently, I'm playing.. gluttony. Or whatever. So.. pandora's box-ish. o_o' Oh well.

That pang seh kia didn't wanna stay for the bbq even after me having to do those.. urgh-ish stuffs. BOO X( But doesn't matter 'cause I pang seh-ed her by going anyway. Hahah. Oh well. :x So I rotted around alone. Then finally decided to drag my lazeh arse to go check out what's cooking or rather, burning when most of the peeps left to play.. games [urgh. SO wasn't interested. _-_]. Yea, and I met ms j tan!!! X3

At first I was really shy and shits but she came over and grabbed me and like arrrhhh.. -blush- It's been so long since we last spoke to each other. So yea, she brought me somewhere quiet and we just talked about stuffs. Like how she's doing, how I'm doing, what we wanna do later on, how she missed us, showering me with shiploads of encouraging and motivating words. Man, I really do miss her. -sigh- Hopefully she finds her right man soon and make more things happen for more people. (=

Oh yea, and it was a tuesday. Well, just sorta reminded of 'tuesdays with morrie', that's all. Hah. And coincidentally we were talking about the book and how maybe when I unfortunately become like that guy one day, she can be like morrie to me. Hahah. Man.. she makes me feel very VERY special and I LOVE it! X)

Then Ivan came along!! Whoo.. It's been really REALLY long man. So the three of us talked and later on mato, amreet [don't exactly know the latter, but i do remember the former. somehow. o_o], and sharafat came along. Very nice indeed. I was mostly listening 'cause their conversations are so engaging. Some parts they were talking about gays and tranvestites and stuffs I'm not able to be directly exposed to due to my youth. Arrhh.. Makes me feel like a little girl again. Whee.. Then the kind souls went to bring us food! Woohoo.. I didn't plan on eating but yea, since they were so very VERY kind. Hahah. X3

So yea, while there was some "party" going on, we were just talking and shits. So fun. X) And then we had to leave and ms hyt sent ms jt and I to the train station and arrhh.. quite sad we had to part 'cause I really enjoyed myself. But I guess that's what's important huh? =D

It's amazing how having to spend 12 over hours in school can be SO AWESOME when you have such GREAT company. (=

Thanks, people! X3

I shall not talk about today 'cause it was rather depressing that I got sorta scolded for my painted nails. Something so trivial and he HAD to say something negative about it. And of course, I'm starting to feel the stress of the coursework crawling under my skin and digging into my tissues and biting at my bones and sucking out the marrow in it and urgh. T_T

-sings and taps feet for a happy tune-

*Evanesced*

quizness eight

2006-06-05T16:46:00.000+08:00

is it harder for a celebrity to find love?
~ go figure

if ure a girl > do u ever worry that his mum might find u too sexy?
~ who's mum?

if ure a guy > do u ever worry that her mum might think that ure some kind of bad boy who would break her daughter's heart?
~ what? huh? mum? -confused-

how many hearts have u broken?
~ i don't know bout hearts, but i've broken cups before. or even test tubes. whoo..

what's ur dream guy/girl like?
~ sheesh

last relationship ended?
~ -eff-

no of ex-es?
~ -eff-

how was the worst date?
~ oh, very very good. wth. whatever.

what do u not like about guys/girls?
~ everything. whatever.

most recent date?
~ today's date? huh? what date?

missing anyone?
~ well, it's just me here. whatever.

quizness seven

2006-06-05T16:32:00.000+08:00

1.Do u know anyone's friendster password ?
for what?

2. Do u think ur love life right now will last long ?
they're all one night stands man. wth. whatever.

3. Are u an emo person ?
sort of -slashes wrists profusely-

4. If u had one last breath to say something to someone u love what would u say ?
see you

5. Do u believe in love at first sight ?
don't care

6. Ever felt so jealous of ur friend ?
perhaps

7. What was the last thing u did ?
answered the question above. no wait, thought about what i last did. no wait, breathed. no wait, wth. can you please be more specific? sheesh.

8. Who is right next to u now ?
whichever soul that's dwelling there

9. Who was the last person u ate with ?
people. like.. diana, joon, vick, karyn, nas, selin, gwen, yee joo. all the art ponners. hahah.

10. How many times was ur page been view ?
which page yo?

11.How's the weather right now ?
oh well, there's like this huge storm going on out there and it's sweeping every idiot walking around out there off their feet. and it's also flooding the streets so well, yea. it's pretty bad. whatever.

12.Last person u called today ?
ARGH! how many fucking times have i fucking answered this?

13. Last person who called u ?
that's it man. -stabby rip stab stab-

14. Last song u sang ?
doodeedoo

15. Last time u danced ?
dumdeedum

16. Lost a friendship over something stupid ?
oh well, who cares

17. Smoke ?
what smoke? smoke from some forest fire smoke?

18. Dumped someone before ?
every night. oh whatever.

19. Been really depressed before ?
yea but well, whatever

20. Faked being sick to miss school ?
guess so

21. What time did u wake up today ?
at an unearthly hour. VERY. damnit.

22. Current taste ?
what taste? like.. -licks self- strawberry i think.

23. Do u like the person who sent u this ?
this? what?

24. What are u wearing right now ?
nothing okay? happy? wth.

25. Are u too shy to ask anyone out ?
depends

26. What is the first thing u notice about the opposite sex ?
down there. hahah.whatever.

27. Where are u now ?
floating in space

28. What date is it today ?
don't know, don't care

29. What time did you wake up ?
ask so many times for what? sheesh.

30. Did u go somewher yesterday ?
duh

quizness six

2006-06-05T16:13:00.000+08:00

1. Do you like chinese food?
depends

2. How big is your bed?
as big as it is

3. Is your room clean?
of course. i mean, sort of. wait, wth.

4. Laptop or desktop computer?
depends

5. Favorite comedian?
-eff-

7. Sleep with or without clothes on?
who cares man. whoo..

8. Who do you sleep with every night?
any guy who comes knocking on my door. whatever.

9. Do long distance relationships work?
don't care

10. How many times have you been pulled overby the police?
lotsa times. 'cause they're trying to hit on me. hahah.

11. Pancakes or french toast?
both? whee..

12. Do you like coffee?
don't hate it

13.How do you like your eggs?
cooked. whatever.

14. Do you believe in astrology?
hm

15. Last person you talked to on the phone?
don't care

16. Last person on your missed call list?
who cares

17. What was the last text message youreceived?
something about going back for lit classes. shitness.

18. Mcdonalds or Burger King?
bk. or mos. whatever.

19. Number of pillows?
what pillows?

20. What are you hearing right now?
some crazy siren going off. wth. -smacks-

21. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
no. sheesh.

22. What kind of jelly do you like on your sandwich?
wth?

23. Can you play pool?
sort of. a little bit i guess.

24. Do you know how to swim?
it's been sooo long

25. Favorite ice cream?
err

26. What color is your purses / bags?
which one?

27. Tell me a random fact bout you?
i rock and you suck. harhar. whateverness.

28. Ever play spin the bottle?
would like to try it. heheh.

29. Ever attend a theme party?
hmm

30. What is your favorite season?
don't know don't care

31. Frequent word use ?
whatever

33. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
ain't telling. not that i can remember anyway.

34. What time did you wake up this morning?
at an unearthly hour. hates going to school during the hols man. sucks my arse in and out.

35. Best thing about winter?
frosty the snowman! wth.

36. Name of your first pet?
don't know don't care

37. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
johnny depp's cool! whee..

38. What do you do on weekdays?
for now, i still have to go to school. and i only get a pathetic amount of days off. sucks.

39. What are you doing this weekend?
don't know

40. Are you desperate for anything right now?
sex? whatever.

quizness five

2006-06-05T15:34:00.000+08:00

01.Your name.
kyuwai

02. Hobbies.
flirting. arrrhhh... wth.

03. Gender.
in between

04. School / work.
home

05. Horoscope.
errr.. uhh.. hmmm..

06. Email.
sorry, ain't accepting love letters at the moment. whee..

07. Hair colour.
it's very confused. the other time i found a strand of red hair in it. wth.

08. Eye colour.
-stares-

12. Skin colour.
it's also very confused

13. Right or left handed.
both? whoo..

14. status.
you wanna date me, is it?

15. Siblings.
one dug up from the ground and another dropped from the sky. oh yea, one more whom i found on the moon. pft.

16. Last 5 digit of your mobile no.
you trying to hit on me or something?

17.When's your Birthday.
27th september and you don't need to know the year 'cause you just gotta remember to shower me with lovely things on that day each year -big grin-

[[ have you .]]

21. Tried smoking
in some of my dreams, yea. hahah. creepy.

22. Drink alcohol
duh

23. Been hurt emotionally
-eff-

24. Kept a secret from anyone
duh

25. Been on stage
yea. WOOT!

[[ favourites ]]

26. Color
black-o [~sibeh goth nehhz!~]. with red. or purple. or white. or pink. or.. whatever.

27. Food
i can never decide

29. Number
7 or 6

30. Cartoons
simpsons! hahah. or the anime sorts. whee..

32. Song
i can never decide

33. Movie
i can never decide

34. Subject
wth

[[ right now.. ]]

36. Wearing
stuffs

37. Hairstyle
just.. like that

38. Looking
awesome as always. hahah.

39. Thinking of
sex? whatever.

40. Listening to
the wind in my ears. whateverrrhh..

[[ do u believe in ]]

41. Love
sheesh

42. Faith
sheesh

43. Yourself
sheesh

44. Ghosts
sheesh

45. Angels
me? sheesh.

[[ in the Last 24 hours.. ]]

46. Worn jeans
yea. you wanna get me out of it next time? -grins-

47. Cleaned your room
don't know don't care

48. cried
-eff-

49. met someone new
don't think so

50. Last person I talk to on the phone
who cares

[[ love life ]]

51. Do you believe in love?
sheesh

52. Have a secret admirer
it's a secret. how am i supposed to know?

53. Do you wanna get married
oh, so now you're trying to propose to me? wth.

55. How old you wanna be when you get married?
when i'm old enough

56. How old you wanna be when you have yourkids?
not into it

57. How many kids do you want?
not into it

58. Would you have kids before marriage
protection yo! save the trouble man.

59. Do you have a crush
don't do crushes

60. What do you want most in a relationship
sex. hahah. whatever.

61. Pink or Black
mix 'em up yo

62. Kiss or hug
you wanna get in my pants now?

63. Summer or winter
winter. so i can see frosty the snow man. whatever.

64. Sunny or rainy
in between

65. Chocolate or vanilla
must i choose?

66. Hanging out or chillin
what's the diff man?

67. Music or TV
mtv! wth.

68. Hamburger or Pizza
must i choose?

69. Smile or Laughing
HAHAH! -smiles-

70. Sleeping or eating
i need both to survive right

71. Mc Donald's or KFC
mos burger

72. Silver or gold
silver. gold just looks sorta disgusting sometimes.

73. Sunset or sunrise
-eff-

74. On phone or in person
anything

75. Diamonds or Pearls
anything

76. Adidas or puma
converse? hahah. anything.

77. Band members or models
MIYAVI!!!! wth.

78. international or local?
international

79. sneakers or boots
boots! whee.. full leather combat. whoo.. okay, so sneakers can be quite awesome too. whatever.

80. Jack daniels or Chivas Regal
eh..

81. Dunhill or Malboro
don't smoke man. i'm a good girl yo!

82. clubbing or live music
anything

83. Johnny depp or Brad Pitt
johnny depp. okay, brad pitt. no wait, depp is sexy, pitt is hot. whoo..

84. angelina Jolie or Kate Hudson
hmm..

85. colosal/epic or romantic comedy
anything

86. sexy/naughty or kind/plain
sexy/naughty. haw haw! whatever.

87. BMW or ferarri
porsche? whatever.

90. long haired or bald
bald is sexeh yo

91. pop or rock
heavy metal yo! okay fine. more of rock perhaps.

92. beach or mountain
under the sea. wth.

95. nokia or ericsson
LG

96. 311 or hoobastank
JEW

97. Asia or America
Japan! okay fine. so it's in asia. whatever.

98. tattoo or piercing
anything

99. friends or family
-eff-

100.asking/answering
don't care

quizness four

2006-06-05T15:06:00.000+08:00

1. How many crushes u have ?
don't do crushes yo

2. I will recommend this song called ... by...
JEW! JEW! -screams and faints a million times-

3. Mummy, when i grow up i want to be :
a hooker. oh please.

4. Describe yourself and your features with at least 5 points:
hmm.. you really wanna know?

5. Ok now. the most intimidate thing you done to the opp. sex is:
? you mean intimate or something? zzrrgghh..

6. Your next dream present will be:
MONEY!! -bright eyed-

7. What do u want to tell your current crush/ex/current lover?
~ii lurbbex eiuuz nehhx darrwinggz!! 1314 worrz!!~ pft.

8. Final question, who are the next people to do this Quiz?
ttn!! hahah.

The Vow

2006-06-04T13:27:00.000+08:00

Neh.. I finished reading the book! After three days of obssession. Well, that's it man. I haven't touched my art for shits and sam is gonna give that menacing look and start screaming again. o_o But I'm very tempted by the other three books. Oh well.. :x

Mother made me cry yesterday. Shithole. Was in the car and my parents were talking about some stuffs I have no wish to bring up now and I started to cry 'cause like.. my gawd. She's my mom and she's saying that kinda things in front of me. Yea, well, it was about me too. I just looked out the window and pretend I wasn't listening but when we reached home, I just slammed the door and walked away. Got to my room and I closed the door shut so I don't have to like feel their presence or whatever. Damnit. So I made a vow. I don't usually do vows 'cause I know I'll eventually change my mind later on but I did anyway. I vowed NEVER EVER in my whole entire fucking life not to be like my mom. NEVER. Old miser. Hmph.

Hmm.. I loving jimmy eat world. Their music and shits. Their lead singer reminds me of keane's. Fat and shaggy haired. Hahah. Whatever. Doodeedoo. It's how the hustle goes, see what the jukebox knows. Put my last quarter on, I play "Authority Song". -sings-

Didn't go to church this morning 'cause brother just came back this morning and he's sleeping his arse off now. AND I don't wanna go alone 'cause parents are going to some other shit and no one's fetching me. :( So yea, going for the evening one. Urgh. Not like anyone cares. -_-

Damnit. I can't believe I'm back to my warcraft days. I used to be like obssessed with warcraft 2. Then warcraft 3 came into the picture and I played for a bit but after that I took a long LONG hiatus and now I'm playing again. Not the DOTA type though. Heheh. Oh well.

Okay, I think I should go off and try to study now. Hm. Zzrrgghh..

*Evanesced*

Hide and seek

2006-06-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

Damnit. I can't stop reading. And I can't stop thinking either.

Ya know, I don't get it. I seriously don't. How easily people seem to sorta dismiss me like I don't care. Like I'm just gonna be whatever and go skip around in the fields or something. I mean, what the hell? I have feelings okay. So what if I seem like I'm happy all the time and that I'm just a cold and evil person. Duh. What the shittin' hell. Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't feel anything. Sheesh.

And like I hate people who put me down. It's disgusting and I try to fight back, not even tryng to put them down back and they take it like I don't care and they do it more. I mean, I mind. A lot. Sure, put me down when it's just you and me. Don't like use me as some joke to make create some kinda humor for yourself when other people are around so they can laugh with you at me. I mean, what the hell. Like, make criticisms when I'm wrong. Tell me personally. Don't try and pick out my every flaw to use it as some joke when like other people are around. It's not like I'm petty or what. I don't mind if people suan with other people as long as it doesn't sound liek I'm being used as a joke. Fuck. I don't even know what I'm saying.

Well so, bottom line is that I have feelings. And I'm very prone to changing them at the slightest thing. Urgh. Forget it. Who's gonna care anyway. Yea, okay, one or two but everyone else just takes it in for a bit and dismisses it the next second. Like all I'm saying is just whateverness. Zzrrgghh.. People are all the same, aren't they? I wonder what I'm really like to other/some people man. Sheesh.

*Evanesced*

Perfect World

2006-06-03T13:24:00.000+08:00

I acually borrowed four shittin' books from the library and I'm actually reading them. Okay, on of them anyway. And I'm already more than half way through. So proud of myself. :D

Lovely book. Written by a dude but in shoujo style/perspective. Bold, indeed. Hahah. Gots some sexual references in it but I like the way he wrote it. Very different. Oh well, I find myself relating to the narrator and some other people in the book. Maybe that's why I like it. Hm.

So yea, I've just been reading and reading for the past couple of days or so. Damnit. I didn't touch my art or my maths. That's just horrid. T_T

Anyway, went to the esplanade on thursday for some exhibition thing sam asked us to go to. But ended up getting cheated 'cause the ones that were supposed to be there wasn't there. Well, specifically the 3D chalk drawing street art thingy. Urgh. Probably the rain, I suppose. Oh well.. Before that, I got myself pierced some more. Hahah. The upper bit hurt pretty badly but it still feels great [even though I got all paranoid and shits about it going through a nerve and that I'm gawn turn blind or something XD]. And now I have four. YEAH! X3 Plus plus PLUS, joon got one too! Arrhhh.. And he took it like a man yo! Whoo..

I also realized that marina square is a huge place with lotsa stuffs. Compared to the other time when I went there and there was just.. nothingness. Hahah. Fun fun FUN!

On friday, ttn and I went for a snip snip at our hair. Whee.. The people there, although dressed like.. hookers :x were nice nice NICE! Friendly and super fast. Hahah. And when I told her to be careful of my ear, she really did! I mean, some people would just be like whatever and go making you wince in pain. Sheesh.

Okay what the hell. I need to read mooorreee..It somehow makes me feel better 'cause it's just me and the characters in the book.

Urgh. What am I saying.. It's amazing how you can be happy for a second and suddenly you're all down the next. Zzrrgghh..

-stabby rip stab stab-

*Evanesced*

And it's all gone again

2006-05-30T21:59:00.000+08:00

It's all gone. AGAIN.

I should have seen through it. Argh. Why? I guess we're just two pretty similar people with a pack of lies up our sleeves. Or maybe we WERE genuine with our words at that moment, but it just changes later on. And real quick too.

Why was I not as sad as I am now before? Ya know, it went so well for a few months and I thought we could make it but it just.. went away. For reasons he told me which I thought were well, reasonable. So I let him go but later on, it came back. And now, it's gone. Sheesh.

So much for concentrating on his studies and not digging younger girls. I mean, I don't hate the girl. It's just that.. ya know, the fact that he said those things and yet things are like this, it sucks. Urgh. We're just the same. A couple of liars out to poke at people's feelings. But it's all a misunderstanding ya know. We seem like we're lying, yes, but truth is, we meant it, we really did. Things change and sometimes, we just find it hard to keep to our words.

Oh well, I'll just see it that way and give it up then. :(

-emoness-

-crawls away-

*Evanesced*

New stuff, New life, Damn it

2006-05-29T16:12:00.000+08:00

And so we have an all in one printer at home right now. Ahahah. Photocopier plus scanner plus well, printer. Whoo.. X) It came with brother's new lappy [laptop/notebook/whatever you call it]. Arrhh.. I'm bloody shitting envious. T_T;

I was looking at this dude in a comic and I suddenly thought to myself, hey, I want a trench coat. Hahah. Randomness. Actually I really do. It looks pretty awesome. But on some shorty porty like me.. hm. I still want one. (:

I plan on studying hard this hols. Especially in front of my parents or perhaps my dad. A way to get him to buy me a new cellphone. :3 Oohh.. And I want another piercing [well, i've been meaning to get one long ago anyway. procrastinationess. _-_]. YEAH for piercings! Maybe I'll ask ttn to go with me again. ttn, where are you? xlb loves you. Ahahah. XD

Okay, I have a long list of stuff I wanna get but I'm so short on cash. Hmm.. -devises way to get it- Arrhh.. What the hell. I'll just study in the mean time and see if any.. flows in. o_o'

Damn it. I wanna watch more Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto. Aye.. And I thought Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien was a long title. Hahah. -_-;

Zzrrgghh..

-skips away-

*Evanesced*

On and off

2006-05-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

Arrhh.. It's on and off. I can't understand it. And when I actually feel that I almost have, it goes off and zzrrgghh... Sheesh. -stabs-

I'm lazy, so I'm just gawn be posting stuffs in point formness.

The Bad Stuff
- Was late for school. Yes, both days.
- Got half drenched in the rain. LITERALLY. Good ol' nas was sharing her umbrella with me but my right side just went in the rain and argh. Plus my bag and shoes got wet too. Whatever.
- I got soda on my arse. Thanks a bunch ttn XD
- Did nothing during chinese class. Absolute zilchness.
- The crazy lion had diarrhoea. Okay, not like I care but it's 'cause of that that we couldn't get our lit and english papers back. I mean, we didn't get to look at it and she never bothered coming to see us about it. Screw her ass hair. I'm just assuming there's any, though.
- I failed my bio, physics [summing up to failing my combine science], poa [VERY VERY badly], e maths [foreverness].
- Realized we're having a very VERY LOOONNGG drama session in the hols. Fuck. 0900 to 2130. How lovely. A barbecue and I don't think Ivan or the other ex peeps are gonna be coming. Shitness. It ain't gonna be much fun like this. =( I mean, bond si mi lan? tmdknnwtfpofs.
- There's gonna be a lot of art sessions in the hols. Half of it gone probably.
- Plus maths remedial for the first week. Zzrrgghh..
- I'm home early today. I shouldn't be. It's all wrong. I mean, it's the last day of school term 2 and yet I'm sitting here on me arse, blogging about how suckeh everything is. It's just SO VERY WRONG.
- I'm broke [always the case yo]
- Can't really remember what else but argh. bad days. BAD BAD DAYS.

Oh well, always look on the bright side of life~ -whistles a happy tune-

The Good Stuff
- I wasn't OFFICIALLY late for school. No pink/whatever slip. And I didn't have to stand in front [not that like i give a shit bout that anyway]
- We're talking again. I hope it's gonna be for the better, though.
- Watched over the hedge with ttn. Random plot + Cliched values, but not too bad all the same. It's funny how we laugh at emo shits and can't seem to when everyone else is. Weird issuers. Sheesh.
- Awesome movies are comin' right up yo ! X)
- I gave tucky his birthday present. Whee.. Oh yes, that reminds me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TUCKS! -throws confetti all over and screams and whistles- X3

- Desperate Housewives is gonna be showing for 5 shittin' hours tonight yo!
- Vickness introduced me to battle on and I can't wait to start playing it. Hahah. Somehow. Probably 'cause it'd make me feel less bored off my arse and engage me in decent [almost] computer games for a lil bit.
- I got highest in class for english -beams proudly- :D
- Sam was in a good mood yesterday
- Someone came up to me today and asked if I was sec3 or 4 and when I told her 4, she got sorta disappointed 'cause I think she wanted to vote me for some exco position in drama. Made my day. [although i think it's quite a waste of time to be in some stupid exco but hey, it's a compliment okay] -blush- (= I voted her for one of it anyway. Not 'cause of that but I seriously wanted to already initially. Whoo..
- D&D got cancelled. Okay, I don't know whether it'd good or bad but I didn't really want to go in the first place so yea.
- Can't remember what else but well, at least these kinda stuffs make me feel better. Still..

SCREW 'EM ALL. -stabby rip stab stab-

*Evanesced*

Post examsness

2006-05-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

Whoo.. I finished watching negima! I FINALLY finished watching negima! And I so loved it! Argh.. Near the end.. sheesh. tear jerkness. :'( Asuna is such an awesome girl. And I love nagase. And I love the class president. And I love negi-bozu. And I love mana. And I love nagi. And I love evangeline. And I love yue. And I still love nodoka. And I love oh my gawd.. EVERYONE in 2-A! -whistles- Such an awesome class I wish I can have them forever. -sigh-

Negima is love love LOVE!!~ -sings and screams-

I'm gonna read the manga once brother manages to get 'em all back. Whee.. Whoo..

Today was quite dumb actually. Netball interhouse wasn't as good as last year. I felt so failure-ish and beverly got her ankle sprained. Luckily it was near the end already. But something quite funny and amusing happened. This lianster [okay, I take the 'quite' back. let's make it a 'VERY funny and amusing'. ahahah. XD] comes out of nowhere and screams at.. linhui I think about how her clip is so wrong and how her hair is so shitteh. Something like that in the most barbaric of ways [so bloody expected]. Well, hooray for AWARENESS lianeebitch [so bloody unexpected]. I mean, she ACTUALLY realized that it was shitteh! Woot! Something to celebrate nehhz~ :D

And well, I just found it super funny and argh. I wished I didn't laugh so much so I could see how julia dissed her so bad. Muahahah. So she got so extremely traumtized and angry about it that when we met her at the toilet again [fishdamnit], she started bitching about jules in front of her in the most liansterishest of liansterish ways ever. And guess what? She started crying and we were all like.. -whatever- Man.. Someone needs to award her the lian-bel prize yo! HAW HAW HAW! Shitteh little shit. XP

So anyway, Zeus emerged a third. Like I last year I think. Oh well.. Maybe the lower sec can do us proud. Okay, maybe not. _-_

Damnit. So after that we had mother tongue intensive and like.. urgh.. I was made to listen to those super cheem chinese lessons and stare at the super cheem chinese worksheets. -stabby rip stab stab- peng is so evil. -cries- Those express chinese peeps are gonna be having this all week and I wonder if I should just skip school all the way. I feel like doing it tomorrow, but I suddenly don't feel like it but I still feel like it but we already have a holiday on wednesday but I still feel like it and I.. I.. wait, where was I? -stabs-

I also found out today that graduating classes still haven't stepped down from ccas. O_O' It only happens in june and geraldine told me we gots to go back for drama for probably a couple o' times more before we scram and like.. -shocked- BLOODY MURDER!! Okay, so I'm just so not going for netball and if I can skip the other one, why not. Whee.. -stabs some more-

*Evanesced*

Art Mid-Year Preliminary Studies

2006-05-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

My Visual Art Mid-Year Preliminary Studies. No layouts 'cause it was totally hideous. Very very last minute, compared to these ones. Also last minute, though. Hahah. And you may ignore the dumb and messy words. :x

Yea, okay, I know. So poseur-ish right. That was all that came to me when I made my decision okay. -_-;

doodeedoo X)

*Evanesced*

Today is a different day

2006-05-20T15:34:00.000+08:00

I guess when you start loving someone, it's hard to stop loving them

Two days ago, I was too tired to care about anything. And in turn, I had an occasional indifference about me. The void was starting to consume me and I felt like I could just die any moment. I hoped it'd go away but with more thought afterwards, I felt it wasn't so bad. Sometimes being happy and sustained can seem meaningless after all.

Yesterday was a happy, sustaining and meaningful day, though. (:

Mid-year exams are OVERRR. But sam still did his usual devious threatening about how we haven't started on our coursework when we should have, after our art exam. Damn it. Art exam was pretty much insane. Well, firstly, quite a lot of people didn't finish their preliminary studies, which I did. Hahah. Everything was just a rush, though. I'd put up pictures later on. Heheh. So anyway, we had three bloody hours and it still wasn't enough. How ironic. Two hours wasn't enough but still can make it. Two and a half hours still not enough but can make it. Three hours STILL not enough but can make it. Zzrrgghh..

So yea, I told myself, in preparation of getting results back, that I'm just gonna fail my combine science and poa. Everything else, if I'm lucky, I'll get a squeezy pass or even a satisfying enough grade. Hahah. After this whole week, someone like me is bound to feel a little pessimistic yo.

But yesterday was just awesome. Hahah. Finally got to go out and not care about having to go home early to study my arse off. Such a funny FUNNY day! XD

Went to catch the da vinci code with ttn, vick and joon [he hates being called that but wth. hahah. "P] at suntec since only eng wah cinemas let unofficial sixteenies watch nc-16 movies. I love them. Hahah. Right. Sophie was prettyeh :3 and silas looks.. well, nice. Not exactly dashing or whatever. But nice and very unqiue.
White hair, pretty sharp eyes and stuffs. Some albino people just look so nice. Hahah. Although he doesn't exactly look very albi. But oh well.. heheh. :3 It was a good movie but they had to cut quite a lot. Doesn't matter since it's been adapted from some complex novel. Hahah. Whoo..

So at first we were just walking around, refusing to buy the tickets. Hahah. I mean, we were too busy to. Those kind people helping me find a birthday present for tucky. Joon suggested I buy boxers for him since he likes them but I was too shy. Hahah. Wanted to buy spongebob stuff but I was short on cash and all those spongebob thingies were so.. unaffordable. :( So we walked around and we saw SO MANY gashapon machines! -screams and faints- I was looking for negima but they didn't have it and their evangelion ones were so urgh. Rei looked horrid. :/

Arrhh.. chris realized that they like to sell those housework toys. Such a devious way to make kids learn to do housework. Some more mostly for girls. Tsk tsk tsk. After procrastinating and stuffs [despite constant reminders from time to time], we finally went to get tickets. Hahah. Missed the afternoon ones so we got the night ones and there were only first row seats left. So we decided not to at first and proposed for The Cathay. But we just procrastinated some more and ended up in candy empire. Hahah. It's so near suntec la. Whoo..

There, I saw this toffee candy thingy in a pretty box and wanted to get it for tucky but well, I was short on cash and urgh. Oh well. Ended up buying a choclate instead. Heheh. And some little things for myself. Joon and I bought the choc marshmallow stick and those other two just ate off from us. Hahah. ~puiis nehhz~! XD After that we just decided to go get our tickets at suntec since everyone was too shy to call cathay. Hahah.

Had dinner before that and we played a bit of truth or dare. Questions were mainly about whether each of us have PCCed before. HAHAH! XD I didn't get any though. Whee.. (: So we also made vick call this certain girl and tell her that he loves him. HAHAH! Was so bloody funny. In the end, I had to do it for him and I think the girl might have taken it seriously 'cause she like called back. But it was just that the tamil teacher wanted to talk to him. HAHAH! You shoulda seen the expression on his face. He was all like eee.. no! don't want! -puts phone down, rubs face and gives out crying sound- AHAHAHAH.. And we kept teasing him about that girl after that. XD

And kept talking about crude things and well, other healthy things of course. Decided to go to toy r us after that but those people just seem to have something against students. Made us deposit our bags so we just said we were leaving and wth. Hahah. Finally went to catch the movie. Ahahah. We went to the wrong theater! and we ended up exachanging seats with this couple who was supposed to be at the theater we were in before that. HAHAH! So pai seh 'cause this guy asked us if we were in the wrong seats and we showed him our tickets and he just left. XD During the show in the RIGHT theater, there was this bunch of super funny dudes behind us and chris and I just couldn't stop laughing. Not like the show was even funny. Hahah.

After that we didn't know where else to go so we just went to the train station to decide. End up joking around. Teasing vick about him and that certain girl. XD We decided to go to the train route map and did random things to decide. Ended up walking around. Zrgh. Walked to the esplanade and took some pictures. Hahah. Crazy people trying to be artistic. Tsk tsk tsk. Walk walk walked till we reached raffles place station. Such a long but entertaining walk. We took the last train home and all of is were too spent to even talk anymore. Hahah. So tired that I only managed to wake up at three this afternoon. Must be the long week of mugging and lack of sleep. O_O'

Such a fun FUN day! Whee.. Haven't laughed so much in such a long time. X)

Having dinner with chris again tonight. YEAH! ttn and xlb wan sui! XD

TOODLES! *Evanesced*

quizness three

2006-05-17T14:09:00.000+08:00

My ex:
doesn't exist

I should:
be studying at this very moment in time. whatever.

I love:
to hate. sheesh.

I don't understand:
stuffs I don't understand

I lost:
my sanity. whatever.

Love is:
sex. hahah. no wait, -ahem- Love is seeing your responsibility in some else's needs. oh whatever. -rips-

I will always:
love you.. can't help loving you.. ZOMGWTFBBQPOFS. -rips-

I never want:
to grow old and wrinkly. oh well..

I get annoyed:
by annoying people

Kisses are:
awesome with the right person. duh.

I really want:
to get through this damn week

quizness two

2006-05-17T13:49:00.000+08:00

Names you go by :
1. shit
2. xlb
3. bitch

Physical things you like about yourself :
1. boobs? -pokes- yea right.
2. nothing else
3. -cries at ugliness-

Physical things you don't like about yourself :
1. -cries-
2. -cries-
3. oh whatever

Heritage :
1. genes
2. temper
3. urh..?

Things that scare me :
1. ain't telling
2. bugger off
3. stop it

Everyday essentials :
1. oxygen
2. nutrients
3. self

Things im wearing right now :
1. clothes
2. more clothes
3. and even more clothes

Things you want in a relationship :
1. love/affection [duh]
2. romance
3. sex [well that depends]

People who know me and my secrets :
1. myself
2. nobody else needs to know
3. i'm serious, you nosey little shit

Physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you :
1. looks duh
2. intellectual level
3. charm

My favourite hobbies :
1. varies according to my mood
2. really
3. stop it

Things that I wanna do really badly right now :
1. eat
2. study [shitness]
3. sleep

Careers that you're considering/have considered :
1. mafia boss
2. assasin
3. hooker

Places that you wanna go on vacation :
1. JAPAN!
2. Paris [oohh.. the louvre]
3. anywhere else

Reasons why you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I have boobs
2. I don't have a dick
3. I am one

People I would like to see taking this quiz :
1. ttn [in your face yo! HAR HAR.]
2. anybody else who wants to
3. really

quizness

2006-05-17T13:20:00.000+08:00

Never in my life had I :
not lie

The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always make me smile? :
vicknes? hahah.

I like lines because :
it's an element of visual art. whatever.

When I'm nervous :
I feel nervous

The last time I laughed was when :
I did well for my POA [which was never. hahah. whatever.]

My hair is :
attached to my head

My feet are :
bare

Last christmas :
I wished for another

When i turn my head left i see :
molecules in the air. hahah. yea right.

When i turn my head right i see :
more molecules. arrhh.. sheesh.

When i look down i see :
even more molecules. okay whatever. my lap duh.

The craziest recent event :
I attempted the POA questions [like one or two of it anyway]

I have a hard time understanding :
stuffs I have a hard time understanding

One time at a family gathering :
I breathed

If its the one i have every sunday :
then.. uh..?

You know i like-like you if :
I like-like you. what the hell.

If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is :
the one handing it to me duh.

Triangles are :
horrid things 'cause they expect you to find their lengths and angles. sheesh.

My ideal breakfast is :
when I get it sent to my bed

If you make me really happy :
then good for you

Where do you plan to visit anytime soon :
The theater to catch the da vinci code yo!

Girls are :
girls

I'd stop my wedding if :
I found someone else. hahah.

The world could do without :
everyone else except me. hahah. whatever.

I'd rather lick the belly of the cockroach :
than eat it [if it's not properly prepared]

Most recent thing you've bought yourself :
lunch

Most recent thing someone else bought you :
urh..?

My least favourite time of the day is :
spent in school. sheesh.

The last time I was high :
eons ago perhaps. -stabs-

The person whom I last talked to :
vicknes

Last night I :
slept

There's this girl whom I know who is :
a girl

There's this guy whom I know who is :
a guy

I'll tell you the next person who will make you happy :
don't know don't care

I'm listening to :
the silence of the house. -turns on loud speakers-

I last ate :
toasted bread . whee..

My bedsheet :
looks great with me on it

I smell :
nothing much 'cause I'm stuck with a blasted flu

On my table i have :
molecules. hahah. what the hell.

My full name :
is none of your business

I tag:
when I feel like it

The Is The Last Time [or not]

2006-05-17T13:11:00.000+08:00

I love this song and I don't know why.

This Is The Last Time
by Keane

This is the last time
That I will say these words
I remember the first time
The first of many lies
Sweep it into the corner
Or hide it under the bed
Say these things, they go away
But they never do

Something I wasn't sure of
But I was in the middle of
Something I forget now
But I've seen too little of

(Chorus)
The last time
You fall on me for anything you like
Your one last line
You fall on me for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me for anything you like
And I, no I don't mind

This is the last time
That I will show my face
One last tender lie
And then I'm out of this place
Tread it into the carpet
Or hide it under the stairs
You say that some things never die
Well I tried and I tried

Something I wasn't sure of
But I was in the middle of
Something I forget now
But I've seen too little of

The last time
You fall on me for anything you like
Your one last lie
You fall on me for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me for anything you like
And I, no I don't mind

(Instrumental Break)

The last time
You fall on me for anything you like
Your one last lie
You fall on me for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me for anything you like
And I, no I don't mind

I feel like dropping onto the floor and die right now. In fact, I felt that way since the start of the maths paper. I nearly wanted to just tear the paper apart and walk out of the damn hall. Shitterish. Not like POA was any better. But somehow, I don't think it's just the fact that I can't do much of them. What else, I don't know. Well, at least I'm not sure of it yet [or maybe never will].

The void is growing. And the people who are able to sustain it just don't seem to stay around for long. Zzrrgghh.. -stabs a million times-

Urgh. I'm not in the mood to blog about any random thing now so I'm just gonna go bury myself somewhere and never come out again. Sheesh.

-rips-

*Evanesced*

Strange emptiness

2006-05-15T14:50:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling strangely empty right now and I don't know why.

Stupid horrid exams. Good thing my prayers were answered and there was an SEQ question on countries divided [my fave part too]. Else I'd be dead on the floor by now. No wait, probably in the mortuary or something. Whatever.

Ya know, it figures. I'd be better off not being an accountant. Not like I had dreams of becoming one but anyway.. POA paper 1 was so urgh. I can't even tell if it was tough since I didn't actually study for it. So I was walking into the freezing cold hall and somebody was saying "i'm so going to fail my poa" so very loudly [well, it was from the back and i could hear it from the front]. What the hell. Hahah. And there I was, taking my own sweet time to finish my paper, scribbling nonsense on the question paper, words that poke fun at it and shits. And at the end I realized we had to hand it in. ZOMGWTFBBQPOFS!! -dies-

I haven't actually started properly on my art mid years yet. Shitness. I'd better start today or go back to the previous year whereby I had only one bloody day [or less] to do up everything from scratch. Damnit. Exams are a bummer. Sure, you get to go home earlier but they're still a bummer. I don't prefer normal classes either. Nor those inane activities and workshops. School's a bummer. It eats off your bum and before you realize it, it's gone and I don't know what I'm talking about so forget it. -stabs-

-taps feet for a happy tune-

*Evanesced*